New Haven Independent

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Domestic violence is a pretty somber topic. It hurts everyone involved — men, women, children and teens — and sometimes it kills. The second annual “Chant Down Domestic and Dating Violence” on Friday night at the Center Church Parish House didn’t shy away from the seriousness of the issue, but at the same time it was an upbeat, at times joyous event.

Delmance “Ras Mo” Moses is a performance artist who created the Pink & Blue Project, which focuses on “the many-headed monster of violence.” Since October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month, this program focused on that aspect of violence.

The Clifford Beers drumming group, featuring children from 2 to 12 years old, kicked off the program with several short, rhythmic numbers — hardly a somber performance.

The evening also included songs, poems, skits and the screening of several public service announcements produced by Clifford Beers Clinic, Coordinating Council for Children in Crisis, and New Haven Family Alliance on the theme of Staying Connected to one’s family and community as a way of preventing violence. One showed women of all ages and backgrounds describing their partners as jealous, insulting, hyper-critical or extremely possessive. “Abuse doesn’t have to involve physical violence,” it concluded, and urged women to seek help if they found themselves in such relationships.

Germano Kimbro, of the Male Involvement Network of New Haven Family Alliance, drew out audience members in a discussion of the elements of a healthy relationship: mutual respect and support, communication and listening, willingness to compromise, truthfulness, commitment. Conversely, he said that lack of these attributes often signals an unhealthful relationship, one that perhaps should be dissolved. Kimbro added that without minimizing the role of men in most domestic violence situations, it’s important to consider how men are also hurt.

“We need to liberate the brothers,” said Ras Mo. “The only emotion men are allowed to express is anger, and that can lead to abuse. We need to learn to be different.”

He explained the cycle of domestic violence. “Before it happens there’s a build-up of tension, and then you have an incident of abuse, and after the abuse comes the hearts and flowers, the apologies. After the apologies is the re-commitment, that it won’t happen again.” But it does. He said three to four women die every day in the United States at the hands of their partners.

Sherman Malone of the New Haven Family Alliance sat in the front row and enthusiastically applauded every skit, poem and PSA. “This is one of the first times this kind of event has been organized by the grassroots community and by men involved in abuse prevention,” she said, “rather than by professionals from the various agencies that work on the issue of family violence.”

Pat Boozer of Survivin’ ‘n Da Hood drew loud applause when she said, “We shouldn’t focus on domestic violence just once a year. It’s a problem all year long.”

The event was sponsored by Empower New Haven and the Male Involvement Network of New Haven Family Alliance.

For more information on this project, click here.