New Haven Independent

Lawlor, who heads the legislature’s Judiciary Committee and represents East Haven, spoke alongside Tom Ude (pictured) of the grassroots advocacy group Love Makes A Family. He made clear his opinion that though gay marriage has again become an issue in Hartford, it need not be, simply for the reason that, one way or another, gay marriage will be a reality. “Either the courts are going to do it, or the legislature’s doing to do it,” he said.

Through a combination of past years’ legislative initiatives and grassroots efforts carried out by groups like Love Makes A Family, Lawlor said, it’s the case that in Connectaicut today, “every right, every obligation, every benefit accrued from marriage” is conferred to same-sex partners through civil unions. That situation that leaves him convinced that the two are the same under the law”“same except in name, that is, a distinction which he said amounts to “separate but equal” status reminiscent of segregation.

“Now we need to talk about why civil unions aren’t good enough,” he said. Civil unions’ establishment has led to a “big hodgepodge of conflicting laws that would disappear overnight” if civil unions became truly synonymous with marriage, a realization that Lawlor said many people have come to. Since the bill mandating civil unions passed, he said, none of the lawmakers who supported it have been voted out of office. Opposition, even among most religious groups, has largely subsided, something that he gives Love Makes A Family lots of credit for.

Ude (pictured), who serves as treasurer for Love Makes A Family, marveled at his own group’s success at bridging contacts between lawmakers, and gay and lesbian constituents and their families. “A lot of [legislators]”“a surprising number,” he said, “have been receptive to their personal stories.”

Now, according to Lawlor, “marriage equality” is an issue that lawmakers had better be right about, if only for their own sake. For “politicians with a view toward the future in Connecticut, it is unacceptable to be on record against this,” he said. While acknowledging that some people object to the institution of gay marriage, Lawlor said, there is little weight to opponents’ arguments. “I’m pro-choice,” he said, “but the people who are pro-life have some pretty good arguments, too. I don’t agree with them, but they could make a good case.” But on the issue of gay marriage, he said, “they didn’t come in with any good arguments at all.”

Ude said the focus of the public debate has to be that what the legislature would change is “not religious marriage but in fact civil marriage.”

Lawlor said he sees “palpable defeatism among the other side,” but it does seem to be exhibiting some signs of life. Republicans in Hartford have made a non-binding referendum their rallying cry, proposing to put it to the voters to cast their votes for or against gay marriage. Lawlor questioned the campaign an inadequate means of resolving the problem. “I don’t think that it’s a good way to make public policy,” he said.

Governor Rell, too, seems averse to Lawlor’s bill, as she already stated that she would veto any bill institutionalizing gay marriage in the state. But Lawlor sees no reason to despair. “She’s definitely persuadable,” he said. All in all, he said, “We’ve got some work to do, but the trend is definitely heading in the right direction.”