New Haven Independent

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On the B bus the other day, two older women with lilting Jamaican accents were discussing their different strategies for walking on snow and ice. One woman said to the other that she disliked walking on snow. Her friend responded that she didn’t like walking on ice.

“Oh,” said the first, “I don’t mind the ice. You just have to know how to walk on it!” And she demonstrated the little steps you need to take by kicking her snow boots up in the air.

“No, no, no!” exclaimed the other, “the snow is fine if you pick your feet up like this.” Then it was her turn to demonstrate some fancy footwork.

The two ultimately agreed that it was best to suit your style of walking to the terrain. Incidentally, at this moment the weather in Montego Bay, Jamaica is sunny, with temperatures in the 80s.

When the bus reached the Green, one of the passengers slid on the slushy steps and took a nasty spill. She was able to stand up, but appeared to be in a lot of pain. She held on to me as help arrived.

“Look,” I said as a fire truck pulled up, “they sent some handsome firefighters just for you.” In between moans, she managed to say, “I hope they have cute tushes.” Because some things are that important.

It Was The Camera’s Fault

I stopped by the Department of Motor Vehicles in Hamden yesterday morning. My license needed updating, which is a gentle way of saying that I’d aged four years since the last time I’d had my license photo taken. The DMV staff had just opened up and they assured me I’d be in and out.

I was directed to the photo-taking station, which is two pieces of blue cloth hanging on the wall across from two cameras hooked up to computers. I was instructed to sit down in front of one of the cloths, which seemed pretty weird since there weren’t any chairs there. So I stood there facing the camera, trying to smile naturally — which is hard to do when there’s nothing, really, to smile at.

Then the flash went on… and stayed on. I kept smiling. The woman working the computer made an odd little distressed sound.

“Keep smiling,” she said.

“You, too,” I said without moving my mouth, the light blazing through my pupils.

After a few moments of listening to her hitting the same key over and over and over, I asked if I could stop smiling.

“Um… sure,” she muttered. Egads, I’d broken the camera.

For the next half hour, various DMV staffers showed up with disks, keys and advice. They re-booted, re-disked and re-entered, all to no avail. At last, the IT guy came and made everything better. Everything, that is, except my license picture — which caught me in a weird little half-blink.

And finally, here’s something a little different. Anyone who, like me, has ever had the urge to send geek fan mail to Dr. John Lienhard, host of NPR’s Engines of Our Ingenuity, will appreciate this photo of the Yale neurobiology department’s holiday window decorations. Yes, you’re correct — that is a neuron done up in holiday lights!