Earthlings Probed On Mars Invasion

Is the Red Planet hiding little green men? Will NASA’s rover Curiosity” find anything but dust and rocks on the surface of Mars? Will the exploration be a tiny step towards interplanetary colonization?

And what happens if the Martians turn the tables and land a craft of their own on New Haven’s Green?

New Haveners on the Green pondered those questions as a recently landed NASA probe rolled across the surface of Mars on Tuesday (or whatever day it was on the Red Planet).

On Monday, NASA successfully landed a nuclear-powered SUV-sized mobile probe in Mars’ Gale Crater. Scientists are looking to find out if the planet ever sustained life. The rover is equipped with an array of cameras, sensors, and scientific equipment to analyze the planet.

Equipped with only a video camera, the Independent encountered earthlings on the Green Tuesday afternoon. They offered their thoughts on the rover and what it will find, as well as the value of space exploration in general. Click the play arrow to hear what they had to say.

Jeff Eilbott, a lab consultant in town, and his friend Max Hattenback said the NASA probe is a good first step towards colonizing Mars. Humans are going to need a fall-back” planet since they’re destroying this one, Eilbott said.

Interstellar options would obviously be the best option, but a starting place would be Mars and our planetary system,” Eilbott said.

Bernhard and Ruth, visiting from Zurich, said the rover may find little green men, and little green women, and, therefore, little green babies.

Kevin Li said he doesn’t expect the rover to find any signs of life. Pat Young, an attorney, agreed.

Young questioned the value of sending a probe to explore other planets when that money could be spent on this one, improving the human condition.”

A woman who declined to give her name said that God decides what man should know, and when he will know it. There’s no use in sending rovers to Mars, she said.

Two men who also declined to give their names speculated about what might happen if Martians were to land in New Haven. They’d be discriminated against, just like other immigrants, said one.

They’re gonna fuck us up. We’re through. We’re history,” said the other. There’s going to be no life after they land here.”

I think they would say this is a lovely place, a lovely city,” mused Young. I think they would say that. Look how pretty it is.”

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