nothin New Haven Independent | “There Is No ‘I’ In Mullen”

There Is No I’ In Mullen”

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Father Kevin Donovan, a firefighter’s chaplain, knew this sermon was going to be different. He also knew he was at St. Mary’s Church yesterday to begin a conversation about some tough emotional questions, questions everyone in the church was thinking about since word came last week that Deputy Chief Ronald Mullen had died when he walked onto an Amtrak railroad track and was struck by an oncoming Shoreline East passenger train. 

A sea of deeply grieving families, firefighters, and townsfolks, all still reeling from the shock of Mullen’s death, arrived at the church yesterday morning to honor his life, the life of 55-year-old man whom many described as a rock on the outside but a man deep in pain within. His death has been ruled a suicide.

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Firefighters from more than a dozen towns and cities across the state were there to remember the spirit of the man, his acts of great comfort to others and his dedication to helping people to heal. Many were in tears, trying to comprehend this loss. All the firefighters wore black ribbons across their badges. There was a large contingent from Meriden where Connor Mullen, one of the deputy chief’s sons, is a member of the Meriden Fire Department.

Outside Ceremony

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Outside the church, firefighters assembled in rows three and four deep, all wearing dress uniforms and white gloves. They began to arrive at 10 a.m. for a service set to begin an hour later.

Tim Pelton, commander of the state’s honor guard, brought the group together. He made sure the honor guard took its proper place and that all the firefighters lined up knew how to give a slow, a very slow salute as family members entered the church.

He announced when the Mullen family had left Clancy’s Funeral home and when they were set to arrive at the church. When Mullen’s mother, Helen, arrived she was escorted into the church, while the firefighters saluted her. Thank you all for being here,” she said.

Pelton told the Eagle afterward that the mission of the Connecticut honor guard is to help fire departments in need, in situations like this.” The department received additional help from therapy dog visits at headquarters, from conversations with the Rev. Sharon Gracen and by holding a vigil.

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The New Haven County Emerald Society Pipes and Drum Band lined up outside the church and played a variety of songs as the family walked into the church. That was a poignant contrast to the music inside the church.

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Inside the church, Amazing Grace” welcomed firefighters and their families, including Mullen’s mother, Helen, his wife, Alicia, their sons Cash, Connor and Chris; his step-children Zack and Nick Tuckmann, his brother Michael and sister Eileen, their spouses; and many other members of the family. Deputy Chief John Masci carried Mullen’s helmet and Deputy Chief Bill Pepe carried his urn. They were placed side by side on tables at the front of the altar. 

A Special Sermon

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Until 2012, Father Kevin Donovan was a chaplain at the Branford Fire Department and served with Company 4 in Short Beach. So he knew the firefighters in the room very well. He returned to Branford from St. Pius X Church in Wolcott.

He led the service, and he was uniquely qualified to do so, especially in this circumstance. Father Donovan served as a volunteer firefighter for 25 years. As such, he has experienced what many firefighters in the room experience every day. He also has a deep knowledge of the firefighter culture, of the brotherhood of men and women who live and work together, of how they do their jobs and what their jobs do to them.
 
He also knew he needed to discuss the questions everyone in the room was thinking about since Mullen’s death. 

He opened his sermon by evoking the apostle Paul, who said, We look not to the things that are seen but to the things that are unseen. For the things that are seen are transient, but the things that are unseen are eternal.” He called Mullen, whom he knew well, a great public servant.

I am as stunned as you are,” he said, adding, I have no answers. But everyone in the room, he said, has a variety of emotions as they grapple with Mullen’s death. He spoke of the emotions of guilt, anger and grief.

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You are having normal responses to an abnormal situation. This has led us all to experience a depth of grief, a sadness that overcomes us…. We may find ourselves today perhaps feeling some guilt. What could I have done? What should I have done? What more could I have done?

He said none of us can live someone else’s life. We will work through” our guilt and our grief. He said there may even be anger because Ron is no longer with us.” He told those gathered to talk about these feelings with each other” and to talk to the chaplains the department had provided, praising former fire chief Jack Ahern and current fire chief Tom Mahoney, Jr., for providing chaplains for the firefighters.

In the end, he added we can only work through these emotions with each other.” 

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Mullen was a top emergency medical services officer at fire headquarters, a man who helped others whenever they needed him. He spent about four decades at the fire department and was considered one of the best arson investigators in the state. He had intuitive knowledge about how fires work, and what to do and not do in certain key situations. His father, Peter Mullen, was a former Branford fire chief.

Ahern and Mullen: Best Friends 

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Ahern (pictured) delivered the eulogy. In a previous story he described how he and Mullen grew up on Toole Road and how they had been lifelong best friends. Shaun Heffernan, the assistant fire chief and Robert Massey, now the chair of the Fire Commission, lived nearby. They, too, have Toole Road gang stories.

In his eulogy, Ahern described Mullen as the fabric of the fire department, not just the Branford Fire Department but of the fire service in general. He wanted nothing more than to be part of the best department in the country and to impart his knowledge and skills to anyone in the fire service.

He not only brought his passion to the service he brought his intelligence, his people skills, his love for his fellow firefighters, and, yes, sometimes his brawn and his looming presence to make you a better person and a better firefighter.

So did Ron have any faults? Yes. Recently I used this example to someone, and I honestly believe it to be the truth. If he was told by a doctor that he had two days to live, he would tell no one, go about his work, his family and continue to help others, never once feeling sorry for himself. This was Ron. He wasn’t about the notoriety of putting an arsonist in jail, or receiving an award for saving a child from a burning building. Go up to his office today, you will see none of the hundreds of articles, accolades, certificates, degrees or awards he has received over the years. That was not him. There is no I’ in Mullen.”

Repeating a familiar theme, Ahern talked of the stoic way in which firefighters live their lives.

Unfortunately we seldom recognize the pain of another; we in the fire service think of ourselves as invincible, in fact we are called the bravest. We see things that no person should have to, we deal with the pain and suffering of others, we deal with people in their worst of times, we run into places that people are running from, and then to our faults we go home to our families and when they ask how our day was, we say fine, how was yours, where are the kids?

While this is truly one of the saddest days of my life, I am so lucky to have known, worked with, played with, partied with, cried, laughed and caused all kinds of trouble with Deputy Chief Ronald Mullen,” Ahern said.

So in Ron’s honor today, when we all leave this church and go our separate ways, I ask you to do three things. Be better every day at what you do and how you treat people. Impart your knowledge with the compassion and understanding that Ron did, and most importantly always take time for yourself.” 

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Alicia Mullen and son Cash leaving the church.

The service ended after the tolling of the bells. Slowly the mourners left the church. .

The Top Chiefs Reflect

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Fire Chief Tom Mahoney, Jr., who appeared deeply stunned by Mullen’s death, did not speak at the Mass. But soon afterwards he issued a statement on the fire department’s website in which he said the department had suffered an unimaginable loss; Ron was our friend, mentor, leader and so much more…” He is seen here walking into the church followed by Heffernan, the assistant chief, and further back the Rev. Sharon Gracen.

He described Mullen this way: Ron appeared to be chiseled from the very granite for which Branford is known, his square jaw and tough exterior was contrasted by his bright welcoming eyes and warm smile. His broad shoulders were ever ready to carry any of us when we needed him, something he did for so many. When Ron walked into a room or took control of a scene his presence immediately put people at ease.

What Ron was feeling inside is much different than what he let us know, I will not try to imagine the depth of the pain he felt but he was in pain. Like the bedrock beneath us created over years by pressure and time, so it must have been for our friend.

Today we laid our brother to rest with dignity and honor. Tomorrow the pain will be there but take comfort knowing Ron is watching over all of us
just as he did before.”

Gathering at the Elks Club

The close-knit nature of the community of police and firefighters was reflected at the gathering at the Elks Club that followed the service. Some had stripped to shirt sleeves, others remained in their dress blues. Beer and hugs were equally shared along with memories of Mullen in snippets of conversation.

Ron was a phenomenal firefighter and deputy chief and a phenomenal friend and mentor to hundreds of firefighters,” Heffernan said. He left his mark on all of us. There’s a large void to fill. He was very important to a lot of people.”

He added that this is the type of challenge everyone in emergency services faces. Counseling has been stepped up,” he said.

Heffernan expressed high praise for the Rev. Gracen, fire department chaplain. He said the second call that night was made to her, adding that she spent the whole night with the department. She’s a huge support in helping us.”

Rev. Gracen said, We’re weaving a good web of caring between the police and fire departments. This event has made us more aware that we have to be well. That’s my job.” 

She also said, The guys have been good, doing good work. It bodes well, but there’s still a long way to go” in the healing process.

The tables were full and all dined on a luncheon catered by Tommy Sullivan’s.

Sally E. Bahner Photo

A display featured a wide-screen television with photos of Mullen and colleagues. There were also photos from the scene of a fire (the car carrier that caught on fire off exit 56) and from the dedication of the new fire headquarters. Here is Chief Ahern outside the Elks Club with a photo of his own. 

Sally E. Bahner Photo

Toward the end of the afternoon, the Emerald Society Pipes and Drum Band squeezed into a corner of the packed room and regaled the crowd with their drums and bagpipes. They concluded with a stirring version of Amazing Grace, the hymn that was sung as the service began hours earlier.

Sally E. Bahner Photo

Everyone raised their glasses in honor of a much-loved friend and colleague.

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Mary Johnson File Photo

In lieu of flowers and gifts, donations can be made to the Ronald R. Mullen (pictured) Children’s Memorial Fund. Donations can be mailed or brought to First Niagara Bank, 1026 Main St., Branford CT 06405 or to Branford Firefighters Local 2533, Branford Fire Department, 45 North Main St., Branford, CT 06405

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