nothin Ivan Sachs, 87 | New Haven Independent

Ivan Sachs, 87

Below is a eulogy for Ivan Sachs, delivered by Rabbi Jon-Jay Tilsen of Congregation Beth-El Keser Israel of Westville.

Ivan Sachs was born in The Bronx, New York, in 1928, and grew up with in the home of his parents Joseph & Esther Sachs along with his brothers Abraham (Arthur), Marvin and Herb. On the family farm he learned the values of hard work, the importance of family and loyalty to his people. The closeness that came through working together remained a central theme of Ivan’s life. 

His brothers lived under the same roof and ate at the same table, or lived in close proximity, to Ivan their whole lives to their final days. That included their wives and children as well.

While Ivan’s father and one uncle came to America, his other uncles and extended family did not, and they perished in the Holocaust in Europe. In that era, the British blocked Jewish immigration to Palestine, and there were no other options. The fact that Ivan’s father and uncle could do nothing to rescue their family was a continuing source of grief, a common experience of that generation.

Perhaps in part because of that family history, or perhaps because it was simply his nature, Ivan was a very supportive and generous person. When someone was in trouble, or was troubled, or even troubling, instead of reprimand or punishment, Ivan would offer that person friendship and support, another chance, a job, a place of refuge, a room with a view. Ivan knew what it was like to work hard and struggle and he had the greatest sympathy for others who were trying, as he did, to support a family. He started without the advantages of capital, advanced education or other resources; he had to rely on his wits and work and personal integrity.

One day Ivan’s father was at Rita’s family’s farm trading livestock and spotted Rita, and passed this discovery to his son. Ivan knew pretty quickly that this beautiful lady who knew which end of the cow was which was the girl for him. They were married 60 years ago – yes, Rita was a young bride by today’s standards. They were friends, business partners, lovers, love-birds, soul-mates. They got up before the sun to milk the cows or do the books or plan the day, for years and years.

The two-week wait to move to their own apartment after their wedding stretched to 11 years living with their in-laws. It was part going along and getting along” and part doing what had to be done” and working hard to eventually get ahead.

Our sages in the Talmud observe that the ability to defuse conflict, to de-escalate strife, is a character trait more valuable in a spouse than noble lineage. Ivan was particularly known for this ability, and it served him well in family life and in business.

In 1973, with a growing family, Ivan & Rita started Cherry Hill Construction. It was the end of getting up at 3 a.m. to milk the cows — and the beginning of getting up at 3 a.m. to run the office — for him and for Rita. It was the era of the 60-hour work week.

This meant jobs that enabled hundreds of people over the years to pay their mortgages, put food on the table and put their kids through school. While that was the not reason Ivan and Rita started the business, they took the opportunity to try to make the lives of people around him better by giving them a chance to work. It saved families, and literally saved lives.

Over the years, Ivan and Rita and later their family were wonderful supporters of Congregation Beth El – Keser Israel and of other Jewish and civic organizations.

Ivan saw the good and the potential for good in other people and in most situations. His word was his word, his partners, customers and employees admired his integrity, decency and loyalty, and he has a special place in our hearts.

Ivan felt very strongly about his Jewish identity; they kept a strictly kosher home, sent the children to religious school and Hebrew Day School, and were proud of their grandchildren going to Ezra Academy and celebrating bar- and bat-mitzva, going to Israel, and leading Jewish lives. 

Ivan & Rita were blessed with children, Mark, Ellen, Linda, Howard, Gregory, Robert, and Louis, and one who did not survive. Ivan had a special loving relationship with each one of them.

While Rita ran the household, Ivan was a hands-on and involved father. He was a driver. While running a business and household, Ivan drove the kids to and from Hebrew School and bar mitzva lessons at BEKI and drove Louis to Hebrew Day, and to all of their activities such as little league, where he served as a coach for some years. He enlisted the kids to help with grocery shopping — imagine the fleet of carts in the grocery store. And if a child missed the bus, he’d come home from work to bring them to school or pick them up. This was all back in the day before the rule of No Child Left Behind” so if he was occasionally very late to pick someone up they could only be mad until they were back in his loving arms. Ivan expected hard work but understood the realities that people face, and so he was forgiving and generous of heart to people who were working hard and trying. If something goes wrong, you learn your lesson and move on.

The Sachs home was, and still is, a center of activity for the children’s friends, as well as extended family, and that is especially so on Shabbat and Holidays. Ivan welcomed his children’s spouses into the family with an open and loving heart, including Ilene, Ken, Linda, Lisa, Betsy, and the rest.

He was very happy to open his home and share the holidays with Rita’s wonderful siblings as well. The special place of extended family in their home, and Ivan’s support for that, is recognized and honored.

Operating a family business has its own unique dynamics, and the children who have been part of that have experienced something extraordinary. On the one hand, working with a parent can be the hardest thing in the world, because the usual relationship between employer and employee is compounded and confounded with parent-child issues and sibling dynamics. On the other hand, the intimacy and accomplishment that can develop if it all works well is intense and profound.

Ivan was thrilled to be the grandfather of Eric and Sheree, John & Dana , Lauren, Evan, and Rachel; Sarah, Leah and Matthew; Cory, Mayah, Sam and Alexandra;, Alyssa, Emily, Serena, Melanie, Dylan and Reanna; and to be the Great-Grandfather of Zach, Ava, Maci, Lola and Farrah.

Ivan often verbalized his appreciation for the blessings that he enjoyed in life, particularly his loving wife and children and grand-children and great-grandchildren, and was so disarmingly gracious.

Ivan was admired, respected, and loved. He managed to keep the peace and find a way to go forward.

His life was filled with food, family and love. Though they never ate out or went on a vacation, he enjoyed an occasional baseball game or other sporting event. But mostly he was a husband, a father, a business-owner. He was always home for dinner with the family.

Ivan celebrated his 60th Anniversary with Rita, and his 87th birthday. While his passing at this point is devastating and seemed unexpected, it so happened that his final days were spent surrounded by family and friends, including 24-hour company of his grandchildren, and also including egregious violations of hospital policy and fire codes when his room was filled with friends and singing children. No one could have planned something so wonderful — and the same might be said of his life: No one would have expected or planned something so wonderful.

The Sachs Dining Room seats 50 or more people and it is where Ivan & Rita and all of their children and grandchildren and great-grandchildren gather on Shabbat evening and the holidays. Most elders in New Haven have children and grandchildren who have scattered around the globe, but Ivan & Rita have the rare distinction of having all of the family nearby, and of seeing them week in and week out. Ivan had the great merit of being blessed and of knowing that he was blessed. Together with Rita, Ivan created much love and life, and that will continue as a blessing and inspiration for us all.

May his memory be for a blessing.

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