VIolet Kantrowitz Ludwig, 85

Following is the eulogy prepared by Congregation Beth El Keser Rabbi Jon-Jay Tilsen for the Sunday funeral of Violet Kantrowitz Ludwig, who died Saturday at the age of 85 after a lifetime of devoted service to New Haven Jewish communal organizations.

Violet was the youngest child of Philip and Ida Kantrowitz, Russian Jewish immigrants who came to this country in 1906 when the anti-Jewish riots and massacres were taking place in Russia. She grew up with her dear older siblings Martha, Sam, and Mildred, all of blessed memory. As their father Philip had died when Vi was just two years old, Vi was mostly raised by her mother, with the support of her older siblings and a circle of relatives. She was close to her siblings, eventually including their children as well, though all her years. Along with Benjamin Ludwig’s family (Charlie’s brother) and the extended family, these were the most dear people to her.

A member of Junior Hadassah and of the Tikvah Tovah Club and other communal organizations even from her Junior High days, Vi had the good fortune of being introduced to one Mr. Charles Ludwig, like her a student at Commercial High School in New Haven, from which she graduated as Valedictorian. Charlie was attracted by her intelligence, kindness, quietness, sense of humor, beauty and studiousness, along with their shared interests in communal service. He saw her as a ​“very nice person, sincere, even shy.”

Violet found in Charlie a ​“hunky chunky guy,” president of the Rifle Club, a super street wrestler, and a skilled fencer — a hard-working, sincere, kind and capable young Jewish man, on his own and looking good. Although he was a skilled rifleman, Charlie never had a gun in the house, as he says, because ​“Vi wouldn’t allow it.” From his early years, he too was involved in Jewish communal organizations such as the Aleph Zadik Aleph (AZA) Jewish youth fraternal organization and then in the Jewish Historical Society, Jewish Free Loan and Free Burial Society, American Red Magen David for Israel (ARMDI), Israel Bonds, among others, in which either or both held numerous offices, and were afforded highest honors.

After their introduction, she asked him out, he asked her out, and one thing led to another.

Though they had a long association with the Rose Street Shul, which we know today as the ​“Beth El” part of ​“BEKI” (Beth El Keser Israel), they were married at Keser Israel when it was in the building on Sherman and Chapel 60 years ago. 

At the time, Violet was already working for Key Board Junior, which along with Yale music and related ventures, was a lifelong career. That work, for Mr. Minninberg, brought Violet to travel to interview and work on a number of projects with well-known composers and performers in the field of music. Violet often joined Charlie in his union-related travel as well. But even more, together they enjoyed traveling for pleasure and adventure to Holland, Belgium, England, Italy, France, Norway, Sweden, Denmark, Spain, Jamaica, Bermuda, Alaska — and most especially, three times to Israel, which including meeting relatives for the first time. Together, Charlie and Vi saw the world — and every trip was a good experience.

They loved theatre, and with Charlie’s many contacts from a paper route and other jobs he held in the early years, he had connections that got them to the front of the line. They were season ticket holders at Goodspeed, Ivorytown, Park St., York St., Long Wharf — both theatres — among others. They saw all the best shows — and worst ones, too — together, and were favored by the managers and so enjoyed what today we call ​“free upgrades.”

Music, too, was central to their experience together, which meant opera and orchestra, as well as recorded classical and other music.

What a couple. As one friend put it recently, they are ​“one of the nicest couples in New Haven.” Their relationship could be called ​“symbiotic.” Other words that come to mind are ​“devoted” and ​“caring.”

Their years of service, or perhaps their kind natures, inspired a lot of love and care from their fellow members at BEKI, not only their peers, who represent a smaller segment after all these years, but also among the younger set, people who have come to admire, and even more, love Charlie and Vi, and thereby to want to offer some care and support. We have seen this expressed over the years, through a lot of hospitalizations — mostly Vi’s, but a couple of times Charlie’s — and of course in the past few months, with the extraordinary expressions of support from members of our community.

During these past few years, Violet spent a lot of time at Grimes, the hospital formerly known as the Hospital of St. Raphael, the Arden House, and most recently CT Hospice. Even more, she was home, mostly confined, for a long time as well. Charlie and Vi also experienced a lot of support from their family — nieces and nephews and others — most of whom live at some distance — and that was a tremendous boost to them as well. Like many of their friends, I often heard about their nieces and nephews and great- and grands, spoken of with love and pride. Besides her family, many friends visited, came with a lulav and etrog or to sound shofar, or called to say hello. Violet had so many friends, from childhood, work,
they synagogue and the other organizations in which she participated.

Violet always treated each person she encountered with respect, regardless of race, religious identity, gender, ability or disability or age. She was respectful and kind to children. These are qualities that she shared with Charlie, along with his playfulness — how many children have ridden on Charlie’s feet — standing on the ends of his shoes, as he holds their little hands, and delighting in walking around with him, to Violet’s laughter.

It was of course through their extraordinary connection with Congregation Beth El — Keser Israel that I knew Charlie and Vi for the past 20 years, as well as her brother Sam & Harriet and their children, also members, and Mildred’s family, too. If I live to be 120 and never retire, I don’t think I will be able to contribute to this community as much as Violet and Charlie have over their 60+ years together. Between Vi’s seven terms as Sisterhood President, or Charlie’s 10 terms as Men’s Club President, or Vi’s service as the Board Secretary or their chairing of major events or service as directors or on the BEKI 2000 Committee or opening the doors for the Tuesday night service or supporting the Late Friday Night Service or serving at the Sisterhood’s Special Needs Seder or the Rummage Sales — our community owes Vi and Charlie a debt of gratitude for two lifetimes of service. As leaders, as workers, and friends and supporters, Charlie and Vi have been model citizens of the Jewish world. I remember how Charlie would sit with Lou Rogoff and Marty Faymann while Vi was at a Sisterhood meeting — he was so supportive that he was considered an honorary Sisterhood member. As Charlie says, ​“I joinednorganizations I believed in, that had good purposes” —and for Vi as well, ​“joining” meant doing the work, serving as officer, and endless donations.

Vi and Charlie were part of what made this community caring, supportive and dedicated. They brought friends into the congregation, and encourage friends, including one recent major contributor, to support the synagogue in their philanthropy.

Vi was always attentive to the details of life. Beyond managing her office and her own household, she knew all the names of the children, where they were in school or their careers, and pretty much anything she had every learned. That was the case not only for her Kantrowitzs and Ludwigs and cousins, but for everyone, it seemed, and certainly for everyone at BEKI. Vi was my source of history — whenever a question arose of who was this person or that person, or whatever happened to, she was the person to ask.

Vi was so much a part of the culture of our community that it is hard to think of the synagogue without her.

Violet and Charlie saved a lot of stuff — memories in their heads, thousands of photos that Charlie took over the years, playbills, articles and artifacts — as expressed, too, in their leadership in the Jewish Historical Society and countless memorials at the synagogue — they thought they were preserving history. Indeed they were; but even more, they were ​“making history” — building the relationships and institutions, doing the persistent work over many years, that shaped our community and our people so beneficially, as an expression of their core of being.