Rev. Dr. Brian D. Bodt.
“Don’t say goodbye!”
The sharp retort from a 20-year member of my church caught me off guard.
Noting that I can’t be in worship her last Sunday before a big move, I had said, “So I’ll say goodbye now.” Oops!
I knew her upcoming move a continent away is born more out of necessity than desire. Moving to be closer to a child who might assist her in her eighth decade of life is a blessing not shared by all octogenarians, something she appreciates. She has prepared for months, including selling her home.
Yet being uprooted, losing all that is familiar except that of familial care — including the loss of her spiritual home of 20 years — evoked her visceral response. I tried to recover with via con Dios (“Go with God”) and a reminder that “goodbye” is a contraction of the blessing “God be with ye.” The nuances didn’t matter.
Some goodbyes are easy, of course. In my wife’s and my families, a goodbye ending a simple family visit is only the first of many minutes and utterances of parting. It used to irk me. Now I see it acknowledge our need for human connection, a settled place, and a constant love.
Other goodbyes are difficult, like the one my parishioner is living; or the separation that comes to many of my United Methodist colleagues this time of year when pastors are reassigned. Sometimes it offers a fresh start for pastor and congregation. More often, the “ties that bind” are stretched to the breaking point as beloved pastors leave their congregations, and both people and pastor have to start anew.
Even more difficult are the goodbyes of forced deportation and family separation without due process, and disrupted processes of legal immigration and resettlement for reasons unfathomable to those of us who believe Lady Liberty does indeed “lift [her] lamp beside the golden door” and who believe that “e pluribus unum” (out of many, one people) is more than the motto on The Great Seal of the United States on the back of a $1 bill.
And then there is death. Never easy, we know it to be inevitable and have rituals designed to draw us close and bring comfort in our time of need.
Each form of “goodbye” deserves uniquely crafted care. We can laugh at the lingering goodbyes of family gatherings and be grateful for the times that engender them.
Moves that disrupt the status quo of lives heretofore lovely and meaningful should be acknowledged. A farewell event for my parishioner will be held on her last Sunday, giving thanks for her and two decades of Christian discipleship. Though I cannot be there, she will receive my letter. Churches in pastoral transition will doubtless offer the same to their pastors, and their pastors to them.
The arrests and incarcerations that ignore the right of due process as found in the Fifth Amendment to the U.S. Constitution must be answered with the exercise of free speech guaranteed in the First Amendment in the form of peaceful protest; and legal action by our government leaders to redress the wrongs perpetuated under the guise of “law and order.”
Juneteenth is here. Our newest national holiday remembers June 19, 1865, when enslaved persons in Texas finally learned of their freedom granted by the Emancipation Proclamation nearly two and one half years before. Let us remember that the freedom it promised for Black Americans remained long in coming, often trampled in a segregated society enforced with “law and order.”
Whatever the context of our goodbyes, may we see with God’s vision the sacred worth of neighbors near and far, created as “little less than God and crowned with glory and honor.” (Psalm 8:5).
The Rev. Dr. Brian R. Bodt is Pastor of Woodbury United Methodist Church and pastor of Community Care at Greenfield Hill Congregational Church, Fairfield.
“Faith Matters” is a column that features pieces written by local religious figures.
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