Beckford.
“Learn,” from New Haven-based musician Emil Beckford’s new album, Songs About Isolation, starts with a warm, arpeggiating synth line that instantly catches the ear. The beat that drops in behind it is as lush as it is danceable. It all gets stripped back again for Beckford to coo into the microphone: “Conversation, misinformation, I just want to enjoy some relaxation / But you keep begging and in my head don’t wanna let you down / I’m antisocial, you never no show, say staying locked in the house isn’t good for ya / Get off your chair and forget your cares we’re getting out of town / I’m stuck to you like static cling, and while I’d never shake you / I want to tell you what I think, but if I did you wouldn’t hear me now.”
All of this is prelude for the chorus, in which Beckford’s voice nimbly follows and harmonizes with that beginning hook, unfurling a viewpoint full of heartfelt honest and humor. “When are you gonna learn this ain’t my cup of tea? / I’d really like if you could stop dragging me to these things,” Beckford sings. “When are you gonna learn this ain’t for everyone? / Putting my health at risk just isn’t my idea of fun / When are you gonna learn that while you’re feeling free / It’s feeling like these walls are slowly closing in on me? / When are you gonna learn it’s not just about you? /If you can’t get that through your thick skull you and me are screwed.”
Lyrically, as the title of the album suggests, Songs About Isolation is full of the kind of writing that is very much about the social effects of the last year and a half we’ve had, but already written from a perspective that ensures the songs will still resonate when the pandemic is in the rearview mirror. Beckford dedicates the song to “my introverts,” because social isolation and trying to connect with people while feeling alone existed before we ever heard of Covid-19, and will certainly be a part of human relations when we can all congregate again.
Following also in a grand tradition of electronic-based pop songwriting from the Pet Shop Boys to Blood Orange, Beckford links often funny and introspective lyrics to some very exuberant music. “Never Awake,” which follows hot on the heels of “Learn,” features an irresistible chorus, as Beckford, now using a full-throated voice, delivers this message: “Gotta work from home from 5 to 9 / Got a mental breakdown scheduled for 10:25 /
There’s no time to pray, there’s no time to waste / I’m walking wide-eyed but I’m never awake (Hey) / Oh / I don’t care what the doctor said, I can die when I’m dead.” The real emotional message is in the words that don’t have implicit meaning. The “hey!” is a shout to a crowd. The “oh” is a sliding, ecstatic melisma that brings the song home.
“We’re Good” likewise glides along on a shimmering strut, with Beckford adding layers of rising harmonies that melt into the ether. “Breakdown” finds Beckford’s voice at its most full-throated, bouncing off a deep, easy swing even as the words reflect the pain of the present political moment. “Why Do We Suck?” is a jaunty, ukulele-driven duet with singer Sofía Campoamor; the breeziness of both singers’ demeanors hides the acrobatics they put their voices through. Even “LoveHurt,” which finds Beckford’s voice skipping across the beat on the repeated phrase “You love me you hurt me, you love me you hurt me, you love me, don’t hurt me,” comes across in the music as a song about strength and survival — as does “Another Gospel Song,” in which Beckford and Ro Godwynn’s voices come together to make a full choir.
“Happy,” the album’s closer, puts it all on the table in case it wasn’t clear. To a tight R&B groove, Beckford sings: “I’ve been preaching love yourself since I was nine / But it wasn’t til the quarantine that I really had the time / To sit in my room and sit with my thoughts and shift all the blame from all my baggage onto myself / Nowadays I’m trying not to get so down / Cuz if I can’t forgive myself, it’s that much harder to pass around / I’ll take a thirty minute shower, clip my nails, delete emails, and take a break from the fake news / Cuz I don’t always love myself, but I’m gonna put in the work and fake until I do cuz / I just wanna be, wanna be h‑a-p-p‑y with myself / I just wanna be, wanna be h‑a-p-p‑y with myself / I just wanna be satisfied when I look at myself in the mirror / Wanna be h‑a-p-p‑y cuz I love the me that I see / No more staying up late at night sad cuz I’m alone in my bed / Cuz I got me and that’s fine, it’s better than fine / It’s great cuz I’m happy, h‑a-p-p‑y.”
In spelling out the word, Beckford does more than just make it playful. Turning the word into letters also turns it into music, which means we feel it before we understand it. There’s a lesson in that, echoed through Songs About Isolation. Maybe feeling something is the first step to knowing it. Or maybe sometimes you don’t need to know or understand something in order to appreciate that it’s good. Maybe feeling it is enough.
Songs About Isolation is available on Bandcamp and streaming services.
