Woman Leaves Town Job After ​“N Word” Tirade

And her reference to East Haven while using the N word is symbolic of the painful history of race relations that town continues to grapple with.

Sad and tragic.. What goes on in the dark comes to the light. This is how she really feels about black people. I doubt it was her first time using that word.

East Haven's finest....

While I find the behavior of the white, woman shopper in the East Haven Stop&Shop; racist and deplorable, to me what happened is not surprising because if 45 gives a wink and a nod to racist speech, what should we expect?

If 45 is her inspiration, and we don't know that for sure, what do school children (hers included) think when they hear this kind of hate speech?

I think the question is how can we, as individuals do something that might change this kind of thing from happening again?

I think it's worth having calm conversations with people who might agree with this woman. The reason is that when the big fight comes, 45 will not be on the side of the working class. I think his supporters mistakenly believe he will defend them, but I think reality will sink in and they will see that their only "option" will be with us - the diverse, beautiful working class.

Based on the apparatus that 45 now has in place he appears to believe that he will remain in office a long, long time. He warned us with his recent tweet that he has the police, the military and the tough people on his side. Add to that, FOX TV and the courts.

What he doesn't have is the massive, all people's coalition for change that his actions gave birth to. As Bernie says, "We have the people!"

Recently, I had the opportunity to have a calm, civil conversation with a 45 supporter. After this conversation, what changed was MY thinking. She is really a lovely woman and credit to both of us we didn't attack each other. As an outspoken religious woman, she thought nothing of 45's racist remarks and lying, and instead said it was the media's fault. I asked how that was so since what I said was what I heard him tweet or say. She again said it was the fake media's fault (not 45's) because THEY reported it.

Oh well.

Perhaps we didn't change each other's views much, but we did agree on a few things including respecting each other's right to their own opinion.

Since we don't know what led up to the conflict, we only have the 1 minute video footage. But, I want to make it clear, hatred like this & the discrimination is totally uncalled for.

Racism, classism & intolerance is a human behavior we all must remove or better temper. Social justice is not just a fancy word, but a new mindset we must adopt. By doing so, humanity might be able to remove war & conflict.

Only time & persistence will tell. Take care & be well.

Urn Pendragon, mayoral candidate

Why is her name not mentioned in this article?

[Paul: She has not been arrested, we don't have her side, and she is not a public figure.]

Sad and Awful.

But trying to turn this into a repudiation of our President is silly and pathetic.

Just because someone does not share your political views does not make them a racist and does not mean that everyone who acts like a jerk is following him. Our President did not create racism in our nation. In fact, his policies have done more to increase employment levels and income among minority group than any leader in history.

Deplorable behavior. What makes the situation worse is the fact that (at least as of Saturday) East Haven police seem to be taking a "no complainant, no arrest" stand. This woman is clearly in violation of the statute of "Breach of Peace" and a good prosecutor could easily argue "Risk of Injury/Impairing the Morals of a Minor." Those poor kids! Do the right thing EHPD.

@ Lookout, You are trolling us again with false information. The president doesn't have control over employability nor the wages of workers. Trump has clearly done one thing, to capitolize on the friction of the American people.

This article was about the N-word she clearly shouted at an African-American while spitting at them. This is a clear example of hate-stoking on the side of racism. Calling someone a N-word is a racist act.

So instead of trying to stir up more hate & anger, try stirring up tolerance & peace.

Take care & be well,
Urn Pendragon, mayoral candidate

The woman was arrested at her home on Saturday 3/15/19 by NHPD.... where she lives. She is not an East Haven resident - she was shopping there, just as many African american shop there. So she was pulling a definitivel OLD race card by slurring 'a n****r in East Haven' She is neither a resident of Hamden so you can't put it on the town. She happens to live (or did live) in a diverse neighborhood where her African american neighbors never had a peoblem with her ... yet. But this type of hateful vile does not come up overnight. There is NO EXCUSE for her racist tirade. But what is just as appalling is that none of the other white shoppers there stepped in to intervene except the one gentleman in the gray sweatshirt. This kind of hate behavior will not end until more White people begin to take stand and say THEY ARE NOT US!!! Imagine what this scenario would have looked like if this was a Black women with children screaming 'you White ####' ... I can't think of a word as hateful to use as the N-word. But rest assured police would have been called by Panicky Patty and 3-4 police cruisers would have showed up, Black
Woman goes to jail and her kids go to DCF. This is right in our backyard ... and we are going to see more and more of it if White people keep allowing it to happen. Because if WE address it ... someone is probably going to jail, and the other is probably going to the hospital.

@ Hill resident
"There is NO EXCUSE for her racist tirade. But what is just as appalling is that none of the other white shoppers there stepped in to intervene except the one gentleman in the gray sweatshirt. This kind of hate behavior will not end until more White people begin to take stand and say THEY ARE NOT US!!! "
Many people have indeed stepped up to voice their disgust for this woman's despicable words and actions! Also, while maybe not the numbers of people you would like during the actual event, the gentleman in the grey DID step in in an attempt to diffuse the situation as you indicated as well as the man in the sweater. As the video shows, the potential for violence appears to increase and escalate so perhaps that influenced bystanders from getting 'involved' as well.

@hill resident, what was she arrested for in New Haven? You always have the inside scoop!

Were you there? Give us the details!

The racist incident of a white woman who used hate speech and spit at an African American citizen has inspired me to double my next contribution to the ACLU and to renew my membership to The Southern Poverty Law Center.

Fear, fear, fear of the "other" - nothing new there.

Diversity is a beautiful thing. And, it is reflected in the massive, world-wide people's movement for change.

Hurray!

As Bernie says, "We have the people!"

@Urn

To clarify;

I agree most of the statements that you make in each of your posts (your only miss is that the president has no control over employment when clearly reducing taxes and removing burdensome regulations result in business growth which in turn provides more jobs and higher wages) but your points about the divide in our country (and the fact that Trump has capitalized on them) are spot on. I aslo agree with your point that we woudl all be better off if we could find a way to come together.

My concern and my point was to refute any post that suggests that someone who is divisive is racists. Everyone who is racist is certainly divisive but not everyone who is divisive is racist. I strongly dislike the New York Yankee - that is divisive in many places but not racist. I firmly believe that big goverment perpetuates many of our societal problems - again a divisive view but not racist.

Using labels that should be reserved for the actual problem are wrong in the short term and also desensitize people to the real problem.

If this thinking causes you to feel hate and anger, I am sorry. That is not my intention.

@Hill Resident: People need to learn how to step into a volatile situation in a way that contributes to calming a situation and not inflaming it. The reality is that most people are scared and step back. And there is safety in numbers.
A person on Facebook researched the woman online and mentioned a series of events of record (bankruptcy, divorce, etc.) that provide some background on what was going on in her life - not to justify her unjustifiable tirade and hurtful insults, but to provide some perspective.
No one has defended this woman's undeserved rage at the people involved, but it might be helpful to learn from this incident.
Years ago I saw a woman yelling and screaming at her children, while she tried to do her grocery shopping. No one could ignore what was going on, but people simply moved away. Everyone appeared upset at what was happening.
At the time I had 2 young children of my own and recognized that this was a mother who needed help, so I offered to watch her children while she shopped. She declined, but that was the beginning of a conversation in which I observed that she had lovely children, but some days it was just hard to handle. She softened and acknowledged her children and the yelling stopped.
I again offered to stay with the children to give her a few minutes "off duty" to shop, but she again declined.
It's tempting to respond to rage with rage, but that only adds fuel to the fire.
We can l learn to intervene softly and safely in these situations and support the victim of a verbal attack.
I hope someone who knows this woman will speak with her, find out what triggered her rage and encourage her to apologize to the people she hurt. It will be good for all the parties involved, especially for the offender.

HR: I checked with the NHPD. They said they went to the woman's house on a call unrelated to the East Haven incident. She went to the hospital for an evaluation; she was not arrested. Thanks for passing along the info ...

@ Perspective - many people have chimed in with online comments of disgust, but NO ONE stepped in at the store when this young Black man was being verbally assaulted by this White woman except for one lone White man in the gray sweatshirt. And I understand being afraid to step in, but evil prevails when good men do nothing. If only 2 people joined the good man in the gray sweatshirt and stood between them and said 'Brother we got this' I have no doubt the situation could have ended differently.

@Patricia Kane - I appreciate your concern for the woman's well being, state of mind and possible series of life events that may have led her to expose herself like that. But as you said 'it does not to justify her unjustifiable tirade and hurtful insults, but may provide some perspective??? The perspective (a particular attitude toward or way of regarding something) is clear - she has a deeply rooted disrespectful, prejudicial, discriminative, antagonistic attitude based on her belief that her race is superior and black people are inferior … definition of RACISM, and that she believed she could go off like she did with little or no repercussion which she did.

Everyone who addressed the situation at the store addressed the young black man … 'don't do it'... 'just walk away'. Like it is HIS responsibility to respond to her behavior by walking away??? Maybe that is the problem ...as long as we keep turning our backs on the situation it won't be addressed as it should. Those 5 other people that were in camera view could have come together and SHUT IT DOWN!!! And this would have been a great teachable moment ...especially for her two young children and any other children that witness this. That grownups act the fool sometimes, but other grownups will address the situation so it won't get out of control and will keep you safe.

And has anyone asked how the VICTIM is doing after this... what about his state of mind, his well being??? Who cries for him andour sons???

@Hill Resident: No one deserves these insults. Never. Ever.

Patricia Kane, Of course we're not "done then". Hill Resident makes excellent points. We're not done until white people (including me) acknowledge and dismantle the racism within us and our society.That would require work on many levels and with a multi-faceted approach that we aren't even close to achieving. I am not sure if you were sincere about being "done yet" but you did spend a bit of time delving into the offender's state of mind, situation, etc.
Too bad we don't do that for Black folks- offenders and victims.

@Westville man: You and Hill Resident have issues with my suggestions as to a path to an apology and a reconciliation. that's too bad, but I'm not the only who thinks more can be done with this situation.

To me, the problem of racism is an institutional problem because segregation is built into capitalism and it has been that way since the genocide against American Indians and exploitation of African American's labor since the days of slavery.

We live in a segregated country - segregated neighborhoods, segregated schools, etc.

Having worked at Yale for 12 years along side an African American woman, I came to understand from her why racism is white people's problem because white people in power are the oppressors and they created and work to maintain it.

The only place that I know of where we have less segregation is in unions. In unions where there is a diverse workforce like at Yale, union participation provides an opportunity for people of color and white people to work together against a common enemy. And, if it weren't for Local 35 (the Service Workers employees) at Yale who went out with us (Local 34 the clerical workers) during our strike at Yale, we would not have seen the tremendous victory that we won together.

Most white people (I am one of them) I know have conveniently forgotten that white men created racism in this country when they stole Africans from their country and brought them here. Against their will, to work as slaves to create the original wealth of this country - for themselves! I once had a white co-worker say that we didn't really need MLK day because he ended it!

Sadly, I do not see that my suburban friends (in segregated towns like Branford, Guilford and Madison) have any interest in the importance of having African American friends. When I ask them point blankly if they do have any, they say, "No."

I asked them if they saw the movie "The Hate You Give" and they did not even hear about it. As a white person, I was so ashamed after seeing that movie that I felt like crawling out of the theatre so that no Black person could see me.

Until white people think diversity everywhere is important, we're stuck, aren't we?

wesunidad, your comment is really important and true. I am a white person and have been keenly aware since being a young child that black people have been and are treated differently and unfairly by the society at large. When I was 6 years old I first noticed it. I am now almost 68 years old and still it persists, despite the civil rights era and so much work that has gone into bringing about fairness, equality and justice. White supremacy/privilege persists. It is grotesque. It disgusts me. I am ashamed and embarrassed by it. I have lived my life honoring all people of good will and have spent much of it living with people who look different than I do. Many white people are incredibly insecure. The behavior of many white people both historically and in the present is despicable. Lets call it what it is - prejudice pure and simple. I also know and love many white people who feel the same way I do. People of good will of all colors must unite and reject the ignorance and bias of the racist idiots. We must speak up and reject racism in all its many forms. We must be brave.

@ Patricia Kane: i don't have issue with your suggestions of a path to apology and reconciliation, and I do see that you are not the only one who thinks more can be done with this situation. Please don't be offended (why am I concerned about your offense - because I am from a lineage of compasionate people who historically have put others needs before our own- that was our lot) or misunderstand but you are not entitled to be offended by comments from people who have experienced something you never will. I have familial ties to the victim and was envisioning my brother, son, grandson and nephew having to face this same experience one day. And not being confident that they would be as restrained or that I would be as tame. There are many avenues where this can and should be addressed. But I believe that the voice of the victim in any crime has priority to be heard. And in hearing that requires immediate addressing in action which must be swift (or the heat of the fire waxes cold) and the offender must be made to look into a mirror to confront the offender. And your face has to be the image she sees looking back at her to help her to see that she is wrong. Only when the offender recognizes their responsibility in causing the offense will they understand that it is their action that must be intentional
In the resolve. You cannot ask me to understand what caused someone to hurt me while my wounds are still bleeding and the offender has not acknowledged their wrong. The offender MUST do their work and the victim MUST be given all the time and space THEY need to heal. We will never know the depth of the pain issued in that assault until it shows up in a reaction somewhere else or when the victim works thru it and is not only able to speak but others are willing to listen and hear. Because you don't know. You just don't know! And it's not your fault ... but it is your charge.

Hill Resident- powerfully said! But it is our (whites) fault once we are made aware of the issue and do nothing to correct it. With that knowledge comes responsibility. Otherwise, there will never be change.

When white people step in and give their opinions of solutions when stuff like this happens it makes my blood boil! White people created this. White people continue to fuel it. White people cannot "fix" black people's hurt by offering solutions that give the oppressor an easy way out, like it's preschool and you have to hug and make up. It's not that simple. White people have been so oblivious to the subtle and blatant racial ills of AmeriKKKa that when they really see something like this they think they can help. How can you help when you can't seem to take real responsibility for a societal ill you created and continue to nurture. "I'm ashamed" "I'm sorry" "What can I do?"
You know what you can do...In my Michael Jackson voice..., " I'm starting with the man in the mirror. I'm asking him to change his ways. No message could have been any clearer. If I want to make the world better place, take a look at your self and make A CHANGE!!!!!!!"

LivinginNewHaven...If you'll reread my missive I DID say white people created institutional racism...I DID say that the white ruling class continue to protect the racist system that they created. I did say it began with the establishment of slavery. And, I did say in an earlier missive that racism is white people's problem. Another writer said the same thing.

I agree with you that we white people cannot "fix" black people's hurt by offering solutions that give the oppressor an easy way out...and I understand that it's not that simple.

Only a mass movement can change racism in the U.S., I cannot do it by myself because it is an institutional problem and not just MY problem.

Finally, you don't know a thing about my history and what I've done to fight racism...to list a few things I've done, I went to college to major in Black Studies, I was the Executive Director of a Prison Support organization that sued the State for the way a Black woman was treated in Niantic, I was on the Affirmative Action Committee of my union, I was in New York in the mass action against apartheid and to see Nelson and Winnie Mandela when they came to Yankee Stadium. More recently, I volunteered to work on Stacey Abrams campaign and sent a donation to EVA's campaign, and when my son was buried in October, it was a Black woman who led the graveside service. I am a member of the CT ACLU and The Southern Poverty Law Center.

Thanks!

(I think my comment got lost). Wesunidad- I don't know that LivinginNew Haven directed those comments that you. But it shows you the depth of the problem when we whites bristle so easily at the suggestion that we might be racist in some way. Let that go, my friend.

@Hill Resident: The victims of this outrageous assault have not yet come forward to file a complaint.

@wesunidad:
I was not specifically speaking to you but since you opened the door....
You are what scares me the most. A professed "liberal progressive white person"....the most dangerous type of white person that I know. The type that has to proclaim and declare their "liberal progressive efforts". Take your declarations and sit them right back on your "I'm Not Racist I have Black Friends" shelf.
I'm glad you have made these self-serving efforts but that's not what I'm talking about. Black people need more than your declarations that you hold like trophies of black people sympathy. It's really nauseating.

Next.....

It is sad to me that the 'white people' that have 'spoken out' against about this public atrocity are still being treated with 'no quarter' by some in this comments section.

I thought we were a little better than that, New Haven....if not, we are damn good at faking it.

LivinginNewHaven...Thank you for your thoughts.

.

LivinginNewHaven...An after thought. You are confused about who the oppressor is Hint. It's not me. It's a system.

My oppressor is the same one as yours because racism and sexism go together.

Thanks again.

@wesunidad: Your efforts trying to heal the wounds of racism is admirable. Most people do nothing and leave the heavy lifting to others.

Patricia Kane...Thank you.

Fighting racism and sexism is important to me. I use my anger to work for constructive change because it's the right thing to do.

From my experience of fighting in the various mass movements to end racism and sexism, I believe that we will only accomplish that when we the people come together in a massive, diverse movement to demand it. Until that time, we can do the best we can whenever we can.

Thank you again for your thoughts.

@wesunidad: We both seem to agree that "Critical mass" is important in every movement for change.

The discussion I have had multiple times privately regarding this incident seems conspicuously absent from this comment thread.

The issue of unchecked Mental Health.

Now, as someone who is diagnosed as Bipolar I (and manages it through medication), you might be able to tell by my posts 'the mood' that I am in. Sometimes very antagonistic, sometime just light and pithy.... The 'antagonism' is the manic portion....!

I remember when 'medication' was not part of the equation for me, and 'difficult' situations would 'explode', and my brain was not able to shut them down and 'let things go'.

One thing I have also noticed, as somebody who has been managing this condition for over twenty years, that this seasonal change brings some 'unexpected' behaviors in people, me included.

For me, that switch happened last weekend.

It was interesting to see many people I know on Facebook 'who are similarly brained' also reported a similar shift of sleeplessness, agitation, and restlessness.

This is all much more complicated than anybody has 'reasoned' here. I don't have the answers, just a little perspective.

Mental Health is the Elephant in the Room in this country.
While I don't agree with 'the tirade', what I see somebody who needs some psychological help.

@everyone, It is true there is a lot of guilt & pain over this issue. And I'm not going to tell anyone not to feel hate over generations of intolerance & death because of their forefathers enslavement.

But I will say this; it is up to you to break the vicious cycle. If you decide to move on with the dedication to love your fellow human, then you should be applauded & live a happier life.

If you decide to let the past linger in your heart, then you will likely never change & will live on that turmoil for the rest of your life, dwelling constantly on that torment.

So I ask you, "What's it gonna be?"

Take care & be well,
Urn Pendragon, mayoral candidate

If 'her' accounting is true, and she was called 'bitch' and 'spat' on first, it casts a different shadow over the story. Unfortunately, no witnesses to the incident have come forth, or the 'victims'.

While you might not like how 'Mama defended her chicks', if she was 'provoked first' that was the 'basis' of her response.

In a choice between fight or flight, most people would pick the latter.

If you pick 'fight', it is either an 'unconscious choice' or 'situational response'.
Expect the 'floodgates of personalized trauma' to unfurl. The most primitive brain at work.

As we all saw, it was not pretty.

All the 'racism' that came out of her mouth she didn't seek out herself. It was put there by the same racist men who have been oppressing the black population for years! Probably close family. Grandfathers. Fathers. Husbands. MEN!

They come home to their women and children and they oppress them too!

This is how trauma's curse survives generations.

In any event, her actions have effectively ruined her life.
She needs some serious help, and it is up to her to find it.

I wonder, if at the end of this, she will even have 'those resources' at her disposal.

When her children became 'Wards of the State' the tragedy will be complete.

In an article I read elsewhere, she made the claim that her Uncle was a New Haven Cop, and tried to use it as 'sway'...

Well, a 'retired', discredited cop anyway....

https://www.nhregister.com/news/article/No-prison-for-cop-accused-of-lying-11665072.php

P Kane and Urn. My last comment on this- statements like "this too shall pass" and "let the past linger in your heart" shows a complete ignorance of the state of racism in America. It is a DAILY occurrence for people of color- not last week, last year or last century. On top of life's usual disappointments, obstructions and obstacles, Black folks face daily covert and overt racist words and deeds. Smoothing it over with ideas like all of us working together to overcome a common enemy isn't a solution. The enemy is in common. It is us. And hiding behind the idea that it is "institutions" rather than us as individuals, is another form of denial.
Bill Saunders - your posts on this topic, as well as past posts on the issue of racism, are more middle-aged liberal opinion then they are knowledge-based. I will leave it at that.

Westville man...Racism is an institution. It is a practice, it is a custom...and it is a fact.

In Webster's it says, Institution is an established law, practice, or custom. "the institution of marriage"
synonyms: practice, custom, phenomenon, fact, procedure, convention, usage, tradition, rite, ritual, fashion, use, habit, wont;

It's not clear to me what you mean when you say, "And hiding behind the idea that it is institutions rather than us as individuals is another form of denial.

From what I've learned from reading Eric Foner's book, "Reconstruction" the White capitalist oppressors created a set of laws for Blacks and another one for Whites and these laws were instituted to keep us separate and unequal. Laws were established that governed Blacks right to vote, their labor, where they lived, etc., and were either written/passed or "accepted by the white population as being just the way things are". If racism were not an institution, then why pass a law (the Civil Rights Act of 1964) to promote equality under the law?

From Stacey Abram's campaign, I think we all learned a lot about the suppression of the Black vote, in part, because the Voting Rights Act was stripped to it's core in 2013! If we are all created equal under the law, why would we even need a "Voting Rights Act"?

In the U.S. racism is an institutional structure in the capitalist system and a cultural policy that treats people differently based on the color of their skin. Period.

Westville man...if you don't believe what I said about racism being institutional you may find this definition from the webs tire "Solid Ground" useful. According to this source racism is not as you say, "us as individuals, (and) is another form of denial."

Defnition & Analysis of Institutional Racism
Solid Ground defines Institutional Racism as "the systematic distribution of resources, power and opportunity in our society to the benefit of people who are white and the exclusion of people of color." Present-day racism was built on a long history of racially distributed resources and ideas that shape our view of ourselves and others. It is a hierarchical system that comes with a broad range of policies and institutions that keep it in place.

In the United States, institutional racism has been responsible for slavery, settlement, Indian reservations, segregation, residential schools (for American Indians), and internment camps. While most of these institutions no longer exist, they have had long-term impacts on our society. As a result of institutional racism, racial strati cation and disparities have occurred in employment, housing, education, healthcare, government and other sectors. While many laws were passed in the mid-20th century to make discrimination illegal, major inequalities still exist.

@westville man: You misinterpreted my statement to wesunidad.

Wesunidad- Ok, one last comment since I believe you are sincere about this topic. Institutional racism is real, I agree. But institutions are made up of people, like you and me. Any 1 person can change the culture, structure and norms of an institution. I did it in my business and my family.
All of the laws you mentioned as institutions were passed by people, by individuals. When a white person tells me "it's institutional' , "it's class" , "it's education", they are failing to acknowledge their role in the day-to-day perpetuation of racism. The store owner, the cop, the landlord, the teller, etc all have the power to change the so-called institutional racism you mention.
I suggest you read some books by Black authors- Haki Madhubuti talks about institutional racism. Cone, Alexander, Coates, Hooks, Robinson, Asante....
You and I have more in common than not, I suspect.

Westville Man,

I have not condoned any of the actions here, nor am I an apologist -- in the end, what I see is a woman, a mother, who needs some real drastic help.

I think it is a point of interest that she comes from an NHPD family -- (read : Oppressive System), and the article I attached deals with 'Swearing and an assault' in front of minor children, a lie at the time which turned out to be a mirror of what happened here 15 years later.

And I am not making excuses -- as I have said before -- just offering some perspective.
You can take it for what you think it's worth.

There is so much unacknowledged PTSD out there it is a miracle that we haven't collapsed as a country yet. There is even some new science out there now that shows how trauma maybe passed down genetically through the RNA.

I don't profess to have answers here. None of us do.
If I can raise a little awareness, that is all I can hope for.

What do you suggest we do in situations like this -- just take people out back and shoot them?

Westville Man --

On the same day that this incident unfolded, I had an interesting 'exchange' myself.

Last Friday, around 6pm, I was walking up Crown Street.

At the corner of Temple, a group of black teens approached me -- around 14 years old, about 6 of them. One of them came up to me, and put his arm around my shoulder, and his hand to my ribcage -- I did not flinch, but was friendly. I have been mugged in the exact same situation, and all the body language was there.

Un-phased, we proceeded to chat like friends -- to the point that one of the other kids said 'Hey -- do you know this guy?"

'Nah', the kid said, and finally removed his hand.

Then they started giving me compliments about my hair -- I told them when I was a kid, all the black guys had Afros'.

A few of them excitedly reacted that they 'wanted to grow an Afro too'...
One already had a fabulous 'cut'.

I told them, a good hair-do can go a long way..... I wished them a good day and we parted company.

I have know idea what the 'intent' of the interaction was....

Now, putting your hands on a stranger is NEVER a good idea.
At that point things could have gotten overblown fast....

I am glad that I was in the 'mental state' to handle it... which happens through my 'self-awareness' in dealing with my condition.

If the same thing happened to somebody else, or me on 'an off day', and it might have ended very, very differently.

Westville man thank you for your comments on my last missive.

You should know that often times my friends and I admit and talk about how it is impossible that we could escape the racist dogma that exists in this country. Take this as an explanation and not an excuse. Sometimes we don't even know we are saying something racist, but we all admit that at times we are. I've even made a few anti-Semitic remarks and my husband is a Jew. I appreciate when someone points out to me when I've made a racist/anti-Semetic remark. That means they care and they know I care about being educated about these kinds of things.

I agree with you that institutions are made up of people, but just because racism and sexism are "institutions" (see the Webster's definition) that does not mean that as individuals we have the right to perpetuate these vile institutions and cultural "norms" because they are "institutions". They need to go into the dust bin of history.

Yes, as you said, on a people-to-people basis individuals have the power to change the norms of racism/sexism IF they are even aware that they are doing it, recognize it, and want to work to change it.
But, now with 45 spewing hate day in and day out, the work cut out for us to create change gets more and more difficult. But, we can do it.

Thank you too for your book suggestions I will take that list seriously. My favorites on current issues are Michelle Alexander and Ta-Nehisi Coats, but I cherish my copy of "Why the Caged Bird Sings" and on my bedstand, "Beloved" has a special place.

Thank you!

For all of the people that want to cast aspersions behind 'monikers', this is what I have to say.

The only way were are going to get past this 'evil point in history', is to take off our masks and talk with each other directly.

In real life, I find people willing to discuss these issues in real terms in real life, based on their experience. There is NO JUDGEMENT!

So, jump out behind your facade 'Westville Man' (and other monikered commenters), and engage in a discussion with real people in real time. I do it all of the time.

It is the only way were are going to get past this shit.
The "Melting Pot" is quickly turning into a 'Poisonous Stew'.

We need to find a way to talk beyond all of this bullshit.

All of you other COWARDS too..... If you are unwilling to 'weigh in' personally, there is a real problem. The last 'truths' I have learned about 'disguised commenters' is that they are Lawyers!

PS. Urn - You know nothing about me. I reached out to you in earnest. Yes, I have been 'critical'. You criticized 3/5th's, not me, and I sent you a personal 'harsh' email regarding the 'situation.

While you may want to cast some 'aspersions', why won't you reply to my initial request to meet face to face?

That is where the 'truth' lies.

Best happy trails and all for everybody always....

C'mon, give us all an effing break.....

This 'digital wall' between 'genuine personal discourse' is the real problem

Bill- Cowards?? Really... I have posted my reason before but I will again- at the request of, and respect for, my family I do not post with my name. However, rest assured, my liberal friend, that I am on the front lines in the fight against racism. And I do use my name, photo and bio in doing so!

@bill, When you sent your original email request, I wasn't able to write an immediate response. It was only 2 days later, you were slinging insults & disdain for a slow reaction.

Because of that, is the reason why I will not meet with you. As a woman, I will not put myself in harm's way to satisfy an aggressive personality pushing me to meet them.

I do appreciate your opinions & comments, but this public forum is a way to keep me safe.

Urn Pendragon, mayoral candidate

Too Bad Urn, I am sure we have a lot to learn from each other....