Families: Opt In To Our Public Schools

Natalie, thank you for this article! It plainly speaks of the smog we, as white and/or privileged parents, move through as we consider choices in and develop relationships with schools. Our white supremacy culture bleeds heavily into everything. In addition to looking at schools while examining your own biases, I urge white parents to also deeply consider and learn more about how to uncenter your whiteness and integrate carefully into schools. So often, we bring our ideas of parent involvement and priorities into schools and it can easily lead to colonization and new spaces of segregation. Edgewood is one through which you can see how whiteness plays out in an "integrated" school. Edgewood is 30% white, but this skews heavily toward the younger grades before many white parents leave and make a ruckus on their way out. Having a child in the older grades, as we did until this year cuz high school, is significantly different than having a child in the younger grades, as we do now. The smog is thick. Historically, integration has been on the backs of people of color, to move their bodies around a district to fulfill quotas, and asked nothing of white people for the HOW they engage schools and the HOW they show up. And even when parents show up, they treat diversity in their schools primarily as a commodity for the benefit of their own children or enter into schools with majority black and brown children with the assumption that these schools are broken and need white parents to fix them. An entirely new approach to integration is needed. Integrated Schools is focused on behavior change for white and/or privileged parents- I urge people to learn more. As for us, we are headed to the expo and open houses as we consider how we can best raise our kids and how we can best show up- it's iterative! *In full disclosure, I am on the Parent Board of Integrated Schools. We lost our beautiful founder and director in a December 30th traffic accident. But the work will continue!

This is really nice to see!

As a teacher, I've noticed most of my top students have parents that are just like them: smart, driven, wonderful, etc. The apple rarely falls far from the tree, as they say. NHPS offers many White students and staff a cultural education that is only becoming more relevant. Although I / we often focus on what NHPS is lacking, NHPS is RICH in many things, and I'm happy to see one of those things celebrated here.

This lady is a lawyer and she just committed one of the most offensive and whitest offenses I have read in a long time.
If white women want to now, after 100s of years of standing by and watching AND benefiting , try and be advocates, ask a black person what they need. Simply trying to get all your liberal white friends to sit their kids next to black kids in school IS NOT THE ANSWER!!!!!!!!!!
🤮🤮🤢🤮🤢🤮🤮

@ ISeeRacism

She says that she chose not to make a schooling choice that would perpetuate segregation and I salute her for that. My own family has made the same choice. I consider the choice by many privileged families to perpetuate segregation through their personal housing and schooling choices to be immoral. Attorney Elicker doesn't go quite that far.

But, in any event, I don't think she said what you think she said.

Individual choices are not enough to change an unfair system.

But they are commendable, even more so when made by prominent members of the community.

When white women think they know what's best for black folks, this is what you read or see. These schools need pleas for curriculum that address the paucity of opportunity!!!! These schools need curriculums that address not just the academic needs but the social/emotional needs of the children. These schools need adequate supplies! These schools need teachers who care! What these schools DONT NEED are pleas for white people to enroll their kids from THE MAYOR'S WIFE because she thinks that's what will help the ills we see now! Why does she think that that's the answer? here we go. Good luck New Haven!
I agree with ISeeRacism.

I just asked Ruby Bridges what she thought about black children and white children sitting together in the same classroom.

She said it was ok. A good thing, actually.

Much better than the opposite.

LivingInNewHaven, you are right in terms of what schools need. White kids shouldn't be the thing that brings resources and white kids certainly won't make a school better. No kid of color needs to know white kids to be smarter. What IS necessary as a white parent, is for us to not make these choices about what schools we attend, based on racism and elitism. When white parents choose schools in this segregated city, our choices are often reinforced by where we live or where our white people are also going. We need to consider all of the schools based on very different criteria. So, a trip to the Expo and open houses is important since it can disrupt the narrative of what makes a good school and what a school needs to be to attend. Most white parents have opinions about schools they have never set foot in and have never met a constituent of. I do think that if a white person won't do the work to meaningfully show up to a school and consider constantly their own whiteness and its default centering, then it's better not to show up at all (which is where Integrated Schools comes in, to provide context and resources for deeper learning and anti-racism). I don't read this as the author thinking the school needs her, I read it as her needing to interrogate why they would choose one school over another. But, I also understand that white people have largely been harmful when showing up in spaces that are predominantly not white and have not respected, understood, or even seen what existed there before them. Wariness should be expected, and hence humility and stepping back once in the school, is necessary.

While she pats herself on the back, it is interesting that the school is not identified (other than it wasn't their first choice). She has tried to say it as an underperforming school in comparison nationally, but makes no reference to how it may rank locally.

I'd imagine if the children were slotted into a locally underperforming school, as happens with so many students and families, they decision would have been different.

It is one thing to let people know that they should look at public options, it is another to tell the city that you are preparing for sainthood.

@tmctague - your comment bums me out.

This is the most out of touch, silly op ed I have read in a long long long time. So Mayor Elicker and his wife are looking for exactly what as a result of sending their kid to another school other than the neighborhood school in East Rock where they bought their home. Like, so what. That's not a big deal unless your mindset is one of elitism. Only an elitist would look for accolades around sending their kid to a school that would be considered below them. Why couldn't Mayor Elicker and his wife have chosen the school they chose because of the educational focus that most magnet schools have? Instead I'm getting, " integrate so you can feel good about yourself and let your kids see how the others get along." The whitest thing I've ever read.......is this what New Haven has at the helm?

@ISeeRacism, it sounds like Natalie took her cue from Nikole Hannah-Jones.

For any parent/guardian who may be inclined to consider the NHPS' John C. Daniels (JCD) School of International Communications (Pre-K3 thru 8th grade, dual language instruction in Spanish and English) on Congress Avenue, please feel free to call/contact me: [email protected] or cell, 203/650-0118 during this enrollment month and beyond...as an Orange resident and parent of two students (started at pre-k3 and 1st grade, now at 2nd and 4th grades) at this InterDistrict Magnet School...I'd be happy to share the ins and outs of our family's experiences from a Filipino-Chinese, Irish-Sicilian point of view. Free tours of the school and neighborhood, 5:30 am to midnight. This is our fifth year at JCD. I'm a full-time, stay-at-home dad retiree, and the JCD PTO president.

It's an interesting discussion. When you look at Connecticut as a whole and the Top 20 "Best School Districts" statewide, the most "diverse" you'll find is West Hartford, which is still 80% white. Most, if not all of these are economically advantaged communities and schools with a wealth of resources. On a micro level, there are some neighborhoods in New Haven where residents could easily afford to live in these "better", less diverse districts nearby if driven by racial or testing/data focused concerns. Certainly there's always progress to be made and sometimes the online forums can devolve into some disappointing mudslinging, but there's also a lot to love about our city and New Haven community. Beyond race, there are so many ethnicities, religions, genders (binary and non-binary) and ages represented in our neighborhoods that should be embraced and celebrated...and on a street level often are in the friendships that are made. I hope that everyone regardless of background feels like they have a voice and can look to our local leadership to represent everyone equally. And I recognize that my perennial "glass is half full" view will not be shared by all.

All that being said, I think @livinginnewhaven makes a great point about advocating for resources, programs, and supplies across all our schools. Our city should not have drastic gaps in achievement and resources in the younger grades....nor the upper grades but with the magnet system I think that skews a little based on track although common materials should be universally strong.

Checking, it is unfair to criticize Natalie for not disclosing where her child goes to school, when you yourself have likewise declined to say whether you are an NHPS parent, and if so, at which school(s).

Nor is Natalie is looking for praise in this article, merely reassuring parents who might be hesitant about NHPS based on test scores that it's possible to get a great education here.

@Jill the Pill
She's no Nikole Hannah Jones. Black people dont need white people who think integration is the key, because it's not. When whites people sit down with black peoples and truly hear and see the issues, THEN allow true justice to ensue, then you can comment as you have. Otherwise, >eye roll<

Natalie is asserting herself as a public figure here, Jill. Pretty big difference.

It is quite peculiar how people can look at the same things & draw such different conclusions.
In a sincere attempt to encourage parents to think outside of the box to consider the fact that their kids' education is enhanced by exposure to people of diverse cultures & backgrounds, Natalie Elicker is subjected to mean- spirited, racist attacks.
If the Elickers sent their child to Worthington Hooker, some of these same commenters would have accused them of being elitist. The Elickers chose to send their daughter to another school to experience cultural diversity, & they are still called elitist!
We will not solve the nation's racial divide by encouraging people of different backgrounds to attend schools together, but it will be a step in the right direction to get children & their parents to work & learn in an environment where they can interact & learn from each other.
People who see racism in almost everything lack sensitivity & discernment, and aren't taken very seriously by fair minded people.
Two parents, one of whom happens to be the mayor of this city, have made a choice that they think is beneficial for their child's upbringing. They encourage others to consider doing the same thing. There is no need to make this decision racially offensive or divisive, or elitist. Why not just consider it a sincere attempt to do what they think will benefit their child, other children & this city?
Some of the bitterness expressed here are remnants of the mayoral race and election.
The Elickers were accused of being racist and elitist by the Harp campaign, and by some of these commenters.
The majority of voters rejected that premise. Elicker won by a landslide. The campaign is over. There is no need to continue the racist rhetoric. It didn't work then, and it will not benefit anybody now.
The purpose of this op-ed was to encourage parents to attend the School Choice Expo.
Go & decide!

Dear Molly commenter: not all white people are privileged. Maybe you are so you can deal with that. Also, if you wish to use your children in a social experiment; go ahead. Not every parent is willing to do so and they should have the right to choose without being condemned or lauded. It's a choice.

I would choose a school where my child will be taught to read and write. The rest of it is MY JOB as the parent.

As an advocate for the public schools, and a meme we of the board, I would suggest that there are other ways that Mayor Elicker and his wife can contribute to ending segregation and inadequate funding of our public schools:

checking: It is public knowledge which school the Elickers' child attends. NHI has reported it several times. Natalie's point here, however, is not to sing the praises of her daughter's school, but to encourage parents to look at all schools, to find the right fit for their child. Natalie echoes the advice given by NHPS administrators to look beyond the test scores to find a school which best fits the needs of the particular child.
Secondly, I don't see where you get the idea that the school chosen was not their first choice. Yes, they had assumed that their children would attend Hooker. In fact, when the time came, they found a better school for their daughter.
Living: I don't read this piece as a white woman saying she knows what is best for black folks. I read her as speaking to fellow bourgeois, mostly white parents, saying: look beyond the obvious, and don't be scared of placing your child in a predominantly "minority", "under-preforming" school, because these schools may be the best school for your child.

@1644
You refer to the Elicker's as bourgeois....interesting to say the least. This is exactly what I am interpreting from this soap box mess. Do you see any other white people walking around patting themselves on the back for sending their children to school with minorities!!!!!!!? I don't.

LivingInNewHaven: There have been several anonymous commentators who have told of what a great education their kids got going to predominantly black schools. One had a sone who was the only white kid at Hillhouse, and was elected class president.
BTW, when I say bourgeois I mean it as purely descriptive of social class. They are not rich, but moderately comfortable, well-educated professionals.

@darnell

As a graduate of a Historically Black College, I am offended by the notion that a school cannot be great unless white folk are in it.

The notion that the money will adequately flow to only "integrated" schools is just proof of racism.

Black students should receive the best resources available whether white students are present or not. The reverse happens ALL. THE. TIME.

The Rev. Mr. Samuel T. Ross-Lee

Dear Mr. Ross-Lee, are HBCU solely for black students? If so; is that not segregation, now that Brown v Bd of Ed is law? Please explain how these exclusionary institutions can still exist, if they are totally black? Thank you.
This is a real question and no offense is intended to any institution or to yourself.

CityYankee,

Historically Black Colleges and Universities were either built by Black people (private) or by state governments (public). The public schools were established under the so-called separate but equal perspectives that kept Black students out of the state's primary universities. Universities, by the way, for which our tax dollars were used to support.

The majority of the schools remain primarily Black and some All-Black. White students are not prohibited from attending any of them, but they choose not to. Morehouse College, the college I attended, and Martin Luther King's alma mater, was, in fact, all Black when I matriculated there in the late '80s, and it remains so today.

I received an excellent education at Morehouse, without the presence of white students, an education that led me to an Ivy League Graduate Program, proving that Black students can do well in school without sitting next to white students.

The fact is, most Black Doctors, Ph.Ds and Lawyers went to HBCUs, and 80 percent of all Black college students graduated from HBCUs. These facts make it embarrassing that most white people seem to know little or nothing about these excellent institutions of higher learning.

The Rev. Mr. Samuel T. Ross-Lee

@T A Paine,

@CityYankee
The existence of Black colleges and Black churches & denominations in this country is a testament to the failure of democracy and the prevalence of racism in American history.
Because most institutions of higher learning were closed to people of color in the 19th century, efforts were made by Black people & some Whites to create Black colleges to fill the void & give Blacks opportunities for higher learning as well as industrial and teacher training.
The first Black colleges were established before the Civil War. Most were founded right after the Civil War, during Reconstruction and up to the early 20th century.
Some were founded privately by Black institutions. Some were established by state governments. Some were private schools established by Northern White Christian organizations, like the American Missionary Association
Howard & Fisk are two examples of the latter, and both HBCUs are named for White men.
It is a fact that for decades, the teachers & administrators in many of these early black colleges were all White or mostly White. There were Black struggles to wrest control of many of these colleges from what in many cases was White paternalistic domination. Fisk is just one example in which students in the 1920s revolted due to issues of White power and control of a Black institution.
Black schools never denied entry to White students. Today, many white students attend HBCUs. The faculties of most of these institutions have long been integrated, and remain so. A White neighbor of mine taught at Tuskegee in Alabama for many years.
Most Black institutions never practiced what they protested against: racism & discrimination. They were established to rectify a wrong. Their survival to this day is a testament of black people to protect and preserve their roots which produced and continue to produce some of the brightest and most successful Black leaders and professionals in this country's history. Their continued existence remains vitally important.

@TA Paine Part 2

He is the big man in charge now. I'm going to hold him to the same standards I held Mayor Harp. She put an additional $5M in her budget for education. I said it wasn't enough then, and it certainly isn't enough now.

I wasn't an Elicker supporter or opponent during the campaign, and I am not one now. I support the NHPS system, it's students and teachers, which is right and best for this city.

Get out of your campaign mentality and protect Elicker at all costs, and become a real supporter of this city and what is best for its residents, and stop accusing people of partisanship who are making real suggestions for improvement!

@darnell
Who would have thought that a simple letter encouraging parents to think outside of the box and consider sending their kids to schools to expose them to the important life-learning experiences of working and learning with people of different cultures could generate such controversy!
In order to get what is be scary for the NHPS, there must be a united, concerted effort of the BOE, educators, parents, students and other members of the community. No sane person wants our schools or our students to fail, or to fail to have all the resources needed to succeed.
The inequities for school expenditres are apparent, clear for all to see.
The responsibility for school funding is not solely in the hands of the Mayor. The Board of Aldermen also have a role in this matter.
This is a time to unite to fight for what is right. Bellicose, accusatory, confrontational , accusatory negative conduct and comments do not help the cause. There are ways to disagree without hostility and alienation.
darnell is not the lone "real" crusader-advocate for the NHPS, and he is not the spokesman for the entire BOE. He speaks for himself and has that right as others do, but he is also an elected representative to the BOE.
People want all of their representatives to lay aside their egos and their own agendas and focus on working together for the common good.
That has nothing to do with defending a mayor or continuing to wage a partisan campaign.
The public has grown weary of fighting, partisanship, power struggles & divisiveness on the BOE. They have grown weary with poor decision making and the recent disaster of selecting an inexperienced, poorly qualified person for superintendent.
They don't want the fighting to continue. That may be why new leadership was selected for the City and the BOE!
People disagree. They can do so without anger & mean-spiritedness. Dissent is fine and can be justified, but the people want those in leadership to be civil and work together to make & keep KIDS 1st!

@TA Paine,

You are the person who is responding with "anger & mean-spiritedness. " you have assumed people intentions and accused people here of several things, because of your lack of ability to hear or receive dissent. My comments were very simple, and built upon Nikole Hannah-Jones'a comments, school integration starts with neighborhood and city integration. Don't send your kids to segregated neighborhoods in the morning and then flee those communities at night. An analogy, let's build that pretty new building downtown, it will bring jobs to our town. Well, in the end those jobs come from the suburbs and go right back there. If the Elicker's truly want to participate in integrating our city, start by buying a home in theirs neighborhoods.

Elicker doesn't get a free pass after the election just like you didn't give one to Harp during her service to this city.

BTW, I don't speak for the Board, but I do speak for my supporters who voted me to the board. This is the third or fourth time you have sung that refrain, not sure why, but it really doesn't dilute or diminish my comments.

@darnell
No attempt was made or intended to dilute or diminish anything you do. Your record speaks for itself. No one can alter that.
This writer's intent was to promote and encourage unity in the community in the fight for our kids and our schools. We all may not agree on the means and methods to reach the goals we all want achieved, but we can argue our cases in an agreeable, respectful, noncontentious manner.
This writer is neither angry nor mean-spirited. The attempt was made to appeal to our better, more civil natures, to appeal for a more civil discourse, not to promote strife, division, confrontation, personal attacks or innuendos.
It is possible to dissent without being disagreeable, resentful or irate. It really is.