The Russians Take Control

Russian inmate Pinkerstein was promoted to be the personal assistant to the Head Blue Boy in Charge of this section of the prison (aka the ​“HBBIC”). Another inmate was in training for the job for a few weeks, but either declined the position or quit. Either way, the Russians now have complete control over the camp.

There are many Russians locked up in here. Most are incarcerated for health care-related fraud crimes, Medicare overbilling, overcharging insurance companies. The Russian invasion. They say it is the highest percentage of Russians in years. No Russian spies though.

It is a thankless job to be the personal assistant to the HBBIC. The Blue Boyz will never trust you completely; you can always be thrown in the SHU, and the inmates will always see you as a traitor. Plus this particular HBBIC likes to yell a lot, so you have a job where you are getting yelled at four days a week, ten hours a day. If you are not getting yelled at you have to listen to other inmates getting yelled at, or watch other inmates bunks, lockers and cubes get trashed by the Blue Boyz. Not a very restful and relaxing way to spend your time incarcerated. 

This past Friday evening, we acknowledged the departure of an inmate nicknamed ​“KGB.” KGB is an old Russian guy who wore dark glasses, had a scruffy gray beard, and was very rude and looked like an old gangster. His claim to fame was that over the summer he left garlic marinating in his locker for a few months. The Blue Boyz thought he was making hooch, so they tossed him into the SHU for the night. He got out of the SHU and blamed two of his Russian comrades — he said it was their garlic and he was storing it for them.

I don’t think the garlic had any alcohol content anyway. It was disgusting from what I was told.

His Russian comrades were not too happy that he ratted them out, although they did not get into trouble. He didn’t give a farewell speech last night. He didn’t even show up for dinner. He is going to the halfway house in a week, where his wife is also confined. It is a co-ed halfway house, one floor men, one floor women. His wife got some prison time. It was a husband-wife criminal enterprise: They claimed to be victims of Nazi Germany, and filed false claims for reparations. Not sure if they actually got any money out of it, but they got some prison time. 

The Springs Black Market

There is a rumor coming in from the halfway house that former inmate CL violated the conditions of the halfway house and is headed back here, similar to the mortgage fraud attorney. The rumors were coming in from KGB’s wife, who is staying at the same halfway house as inmate CL. She said she saw him in handcuffs.

When inmate CL left this prison for the halfway house, I heard that he had promised his springs to three different inmates. Most guys sleep on three-inch mattresses resting on steel boards. There is a limited supply of springs that are in place of the steel boards, and are obviously more comfortable than the steel boards.

There apparently is a black market for these springs. I heard that when CL left, three inmates went up to his bunk to pick up the springs. There was much confusion, especially on the part of CL’s former bunkie.

You can learn many new scams while you are incarcerated.

New Haven attorney Lawrence Dressler is currently serving a 20-month sentence in an out-of-state federal minimum-security prison for his part in a mortgage-fraud ring.

Previous installments:

• Larry Noodles & The Tossed Banana
• A Peanut-Butter View Of A ​“Real Prison”
• Arrival
• Tempers Flare Over … What?
• Blinded By The Light