Father’s Day Comes Early

Terrance Gray left his barbershop with seven customers waiting. He had a much more important place to be: with his ​“baby,” marking the effort he’s making to serve as a strong male role model in her life.

He joined some 50 men on a similar mission Thursday evening at Helene Grant School. They came together to acknowledge the special roles they lead in the lives of the children they love and care for. Children also joined the event, though women were strictly banned from entering. Several waited patiently in the halls while trying to catch a glimpse of the action through the glass windows.

The event was sponsored by Head Start.

“This event tonight is bringing together all men. It’s a great way to get fathers to meet each other, support each other, and perhaps listen to the other opportunities that there are within Head Start to get supported with what they do. It’s a way to acknowledge them,” said Claudia McNeil, New Haven Head Start’s program director.

Diamond Shaw, a student at Early Childhood Development, is no longer a baby, though Gray came into her life at just 9 months old. Although he is not her biological father, he cares for her the same way he does for his four other daughters.

“Fathers need each other,” he said. ​“Men stop being men, men stop taking care of their kids, men stop taking care of their responsibilities, and that’s why women dog us a little bit sometimes. It’s about reaching out to the men, and helping them, and there’s been a change. I always took care of my four daughters, but meeting other men who want to do better for their kids, has inspired me [to do the same].”

The theme of the evening was ​“Father’s Day in December,” with one male — Santa — serving as a special guest. Each child and significant male (or males) took a photograph with Santa, to be framed. Invitations for the event were given to men connected to children are in Head Start.

“Kids don’t always have a father in their lives, so it’s broadened to uncles, grandfathers, or a significant other in their life,” said McNeil.

“Too often people put dads on the Wall of Shame. They’re categorized. We want to put dads up in a positive light. We want to acknowledge dads with whatever they’re doing,” said Keith Young, male involvement coordinator, outreach worker, and community partner liaison for the Board of Education Head Start program. Young makes Male Involvement Walls of Fame, which are currently displayed in five Head Start programs in the city. ​“We put their pictures up on the board so they can see themselves,” he said. ​“They acknowledge themselves in the picture with their baby, they gravitate to that, and women gravitate to that.”

Joshua Berrios, male involvement coordinator for the Early Learning Center at Gateway Community College, said he remains grateful for Young’s work. Berrios’s daughter is now a teenager. ​“It’s because of Keith, and what he does for fathers, is what paves us the way. My daughter, who’s now 16, was in a Head Start program, and he pioneered the way. Anything he does, I’m a part of,” Berrios said.

By day, Jason Gordneer (pictured) is the behavior dean at Troup School. But before, after, and anytime in between, he’s also a dad. A single dad. His son,Jayden Gordneer, has been at Clemente for three years. Gordneer found guidance and help through Head Start’s Male Involvement Program, he said. ​“This program has been a blessing, because it allows men to come together. They have parenting workshops and open discussions. We rely on one another. I’m a step ahead of some guys. While some guys are still dealing with court, I’m just strictly dealing with my son. The guys receive knowledge back from one another, and I think it’s just so important. It’s impacted a lot of guys.

“Last year, they did something similar, but women were allowed in. Men want their own time, something to make them feel special and alone with their kids.”