Paul Bunyan Acquitted

Lumberjacks the world over can celebrate Paul Bunyan’s victory in a historic criminal case — all thanks to the hard work of a New Haven fifth-grade class and a lawyer named Slick.

Bunyan’s acquittal took place Thursday, the final day of a month-long mock trial run by John C. Daniels School students and teachers.

Fifth graders from the school played many roles in the final day of proceedings in New Haven’s U.S District Court building on Church Street — including defendants, prosecutors, defense attorneys, witnesses, courtroom sketchers, jurors, translators, and clerks. They received advice from a volunteer team of Yale-New Haven Hospital legal staff.

A real-life judge — the Honorable Antonio C. Robaina — presided over the case and took questions from the students.

A ​“General Nuisance”

The mock trial began a month ago, when the Forest Service and several other government agencies sued Paul Bunyan and his well-known associate Blue the Ox for hurting the environment.

Judge Robaina Thursday opened the proceedings with a brief restatement of the charges.

“This case is a suit by the federal government to stop Mr. Bunyan and Mr. Ox from further cutting down forests, polluting natural waterways, making their own waterways, correcting curving highways, and generally being a nuisance,” he said.

The prosecution team, led by Attorney Smooth, answered with a harsher take on the matter.

“Mr. Bunyan and Mr. Ox have ignored all restrictions on how many trees can be cut from a forest, have polluted lakes until they cannot be used by fish, have drunk whole rivers, and have ruined wildlife,” he said. ​“It is in the national best interest to stop further activities by the defendants and compensate for past damage done!.

The defense, led by Attorney Slick, replied with indignation.

“What you have just heard from Attorney Smooth sounds really good,” he said, ​“but is not the way things actually happened. Paul’s entire cutting of trees was done for public good so that people could have homes to live in and fires to keep them warm in the winter.”

Billy Whiskers Takes The Stand

After the initial statements, Judge Robaina allowed the prosecutor to call forth a witness. Attorney Smooth responded by asking that Mr. Billy Whiskers take the stand.

Since Whiskers’ first language is Spanish, the court provided him with a live translator.

“Do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth?” asked the court clerk.

“¿Usted jura decir la verdad, toda la verdad, y nada más que la verdad?” repeated the translator.

“Lo juro,” replied Mr. Whiskers.

The interpreter translated the whole examination, which included some choice moments.

“Speaking about the axe,” said Smooth, ​“could you tell me something about what the forest looked like after the defendants went to work on them?”

“Well, there just wasn’t much left by the time they got through,” the witness replied. ​“Mr. Bunyan could cut more than 7 other men, and he hired a whole crew to work with him. He would cut every tree in sight. The ox would then carry them all out to the river.”

When the prosecutor was done, the defense team was allowed a cross examination of the witness.

“Isn’t it true that you and your family have vacationed, more than once, by the lakes that Paul and Blue created?” asked Attorney Slick.

“Yes,” replied Whiskers, ​“but…”

“And you enjoyed the lakes, didn’t you?” Attorney Slick pressed on.

After Mr. Whiskers was done testifying, Ox and Bunyan were allowed to defend themselves.

“Is that spelled B‑L-E‑U or B‑L-U‑E?” the court clerk asked Ox.

“I don’t know,” replied the beast of burden. ​“I’m just an ox!”

Bunyan’s self-defense was certainly eloquent.

“I’m hired by people to supply them with wood for housing and firewood and to clear land for farmers,” he said in a thick country accent. ​“Why, I’ve cleared so much land for farming that our country can feed two-thirds of the population of the world!”

After a few moments of deliberation, the jury voted to acquit Bunyan and Ox of all charges. Bunyan (pictured at left, played by Kenny Delgado) appeared happy and satisfied with the result of the case.

“I’m gonna go back to the forest!” he said when asked about his future plans.

Lessons

After the end of the trial, Judge Robaina (pictured) took questions from the students. Some of the questions brought comic relief.

“I don’t eat at McDonald’s anymore,” Robaina replied to a question about his diet. ​“Even though I look like I do!”

Others were serious and thoughtful.

“I have sent people to prison many, many times,” said the judge, ​“but it’s always very hard, especially because it’s usually young people facing you, and you look at them and you realize that they have their whole life ahead of them. Four years ago, I sentenced a man to life in prison without parole. That means he’s going to die in prison. That stays with me, and keeps me up at night.”

Robaina, who was one of the original directors of the Connecticut Hispanic Bar Association, said he was pleased that this year’s mock trial included a translator.

“This school has a lot of Hispanic students,” said the Cuban-born judge. ​“The translator service exists in all U.S courts, and it’s important that the kids know the court welcomes speakers of all languages. It’s also important that they realize there are many Hispanics working in the legal professions.”

Planning for the future

Present at the court were also some parents. Among them was Chris Brown, whose daughter, Dolores Brown (pictured) played one of the defense attorneys.

“It’s good experience for the kids,” Brown said. ​“It can give them an idea of what they want to do in life. Kids need to get exposure to things. Dolores talked about becoming a lawyer even before this started, so I’m glad she’s getting the chance to actually experience it.”

After the defense lost the case, Brown was seen consoling the future lawyer.