Excerpts from Eulogy for Ina S. Yudkin Blair
Prepared by Rabbi Jon-Jay Tilsen, Congregatin Beth-El Keser Israel
Ina was born in the Bronx in 1943 and grew up in New Haven along with her sister in the loving home of her parents Joseph & Edythe Yudkin. There she learned the value of hard work, dedication to family and the ideals of her people.
After her children were born, Ina earned a degree in Respiratory Therapy and worked for a noted clinical researcher. Later she pursued a career in telecommunications, where she was an award-winning salesperson for SNET and CableVision LightPath.
While she very much enjoyed the acquaintance and company of numerous well-known performing artists, particularly in her later years through her son Jerry’s professional associations, and in her wide travels, Ina greatly valued her lifelong and loyal friendship here in New Haven with uncelebrated but extraordinary people. Friends appreciated and respected her unstoppable will, her positive outlook, intense life-force, and no-holds barred approach to life – that, along with her engaging personality, beauty and grace, her ever-ready for friendship and adventure style.
Were we to make a documentary about her, it might be titled “Ina Uncensored,” for she was direct, honest, unfiltered and fair as she could be, advocating forcibly for her interests and in support of her family. She did not do things haltingly or half-way. If you’re going to do something, you should go all the way; if you’re going to compete, you should go for first place; of you’re going to say something, it should be true and important. She lived according to the concise Hebrew dictum, “im kavar, az kavar,” “if you’re going to do something at all, do it right.”
As important as were friends and career, Ina’s single priority was the well-being of her children, Jerrold and Michelle. As a single mother for the most part, Ina was unstoppably dedicated to providing her children with a good home and with every opportunity for education and cultural experience. She wanted them to have a sense of belonging, expressed through their membership at Congregation Beth El-Keser Israel, just up the stairway from their home on Valley Street, and by providing her children with an excellent education at Ezra Academy and the experience of Camp Laurelwood. The children also frequently visited with their grandparents, further exposing them to Jewish culture and values.
Ina attended every recital, scouts event, performance and competition of her children – through college – and was dedicated to support them in their interests and endeavors. If they had a part in a play or performance, she made their costumes, and sometimes for their friends or teammates as well.
Besides her children, Ina cared for several dogs, most recently Max, and raised extensive gardens. Even the darkness of night could not stand in her way, as she sometimes gardened under outdoor floodlights.
The centrality of education as a value was further expressed through her support of her children’s education at The Hopkins School in New Haven and Brandeis University.
The close bonds of mother and children persisted, grew and evolved into their adulthood. Ina spoke with her daughter Michelle every day, and saw her frequently; and likewise with Jerry she traveled and enjoyed new experiences.
This closeness and involvement continued and intensified during the period of her illness, during which she lived with Michelle and then Jerry & grandson Joshua for many months, all the while experiencing their extraordinary attention, love and care. Just as she held their hands as young children taking their first steps, they held her hands as she took her last steps. Although we may do well to not dwell on these past couple of years – as Ina had a lifetime of good and happy years to recall – we must note, simply, both her extraordinary strength of character in facing her illness and the associated circumstances, as well as the unending devotion of her children and grandson. Ina was giving out kisses to the end.
Ina was a proud and devoted grandmother, taking delight in her grandson Joshua and enjoying her direct involvement in his life. Just as she had attended the events of her own children, so she went all-out and did the same for her grandson. What in the world could be more important? She had a special bond with him, and found in him a thoughtful and wise young man, ready to share in some of the wonderful qualities that she possessed, in his own tempered yet intense way, taking advantage of every moment.
Just as Ina faced adversity – and more than her share was placed before her – just as she faced adversity with courage, love and strength, so too, may you, her loved ones, face this challenging period of mourning with the strength that comes from the knowledge that your mother and grandmother gave you lessons to lead a good life, gave you love and care, and with the knowledge that you provided her with meaning, hope and love, and the peace that may come from that knowledge.
Your mother encouraged you throughout your lives and urged you to move forward; and even now after her passing, I trust that this encouragement will persist, and that the life and love that she created will be a continuing source of blessing.
Ina’s passing on the date of the civil calendar 1/1/11 was taken as a reflection of the direction of her life, always seeking to be #1, to be the best she could be. And indeed, she was the best. May the love and life that she created be a continuing source of blessing.
