Samuel Kantrowitz, 94

Rabbi Jon-Jay Tilsen of Westville’s Congregation Beth El Keser Israel delivered the following sermon Friday at the funeral of Samuel Kantrowitz, who died at the age of 94.

Samuel Kantrowitz grew up in the loving home of his parents, Philip and Ida Kantrowitz, along with his dear siblings Martha, Mildred and Violet in New Haven where their neighbors spoke Italian, Greek, French, and Yiddish, and occasionally English. Their parents had come from Russia in 1905 and 1906, lived in New York, and then moved to Connecticut, where Sam grew up.

Sam was struck during the flu epidemic of 1918 and he was not expected to survive. That experience affected his parents’ perspective on his life, and his own perspective, in part reinforcing a realization that the gift of life is not to be taken for granted.

Sam’s father was a hard-working carpenter who died when Sam was just a young teenager with two younger sisters at home. Sam was especially dear to his mother, as the only son, and as a survivor. That experience, too, deeply affect the children’s outlook on life. 

After graduating from James Hillhouse High School in New Haven, Sam worked in New Haven for a few years, and then was engaged in the civil service in Washington, D.C., for two years. Sam enlisted in the US Army Air Corp on Nov. 3 1942. He served in Washington D.C., Louisiana and Texas, and was honorably discharged as a sergeant 55 years ago this week.

Back in New Haven, Sam earned an associate degree in engineering and was later awarded a bachelor of science diploma from the University of New Haven. He worked for 40 years at Himmel Brothers, as a draftsman for a company producing industrial products in Connecticut – products so specialized that some are still made in America.

In retirement, for several years, Sam took courses at Southern Connecticut State University in philosophy, ethics, and computer science, pursuing interests that the exigencies of the day forced him to defer from his earlier years. All the while, though, Sam was continually reading, and in particular read Jewish and general news journals, such as the Forward, Jerusalem Post and US News & World Report – or was it Time and Newsweek – or all of them. Sam had – let us say – well-formed opinions on all of the issues of the day, which he generously shared with anyone who would listen (or not) and which he was able to articulate confidently and passionately. In other words, he was opinionated. But he was an educated, value-based and thoughtful opinion leader. His opinions were not wacky but were sometimes ahead of his time.

The first time I met Sam, 17 ½ years ago, after a Shabbat morning service at BEKI, he approached me after the service and introduced himself by saying, ​“Do you know, Rabbi, what is the biggest problem facing America today?” I’m not going to tell you what he said next. I thought he was a crank. But eventually I came to agree with him.
Like his dear siblings, Sam was part of the ​“Rose Street Shul” – now Congregation Beth El-Keser Israel – family, and it was of course in that context that I had the pleasure and privilege of knowing him and his family. Besides supporting the Men’s Club, during all the years I knew him – up until the last few years when it became impossible for him – Sam attended every Shabbat morning service. Some people took vacations, some people slept in, some people were home with a cold, some were snowed in, but Sam was there every single week. I am told that in earlier years he was a regular at the Late Friday Night service as well. I can still hear him saying – the words he’d use to introduce his opinion – ​“You know, Rabbi….” And at every Sunday brunch, through his pointed questioning, Sam helped insure that our speakers were controversial. 

Among his fine qualities, Sam was reliable, consistent and considerate. He believed that if you’re going to do a job, you should do it thoroughly – expressed in the Hebrew aphorism ​“im kevar, az kevar” – and which he applied, for example, to shoveling snow by scraping down to the raw concrete or asphalt.

Sam was devoted to the well-being of his people, an observant and devout Jew and Zionist, who supported his synagogue, his community and his nation, and believed that this dedication was a central part of the training of his children and the value legacy he wanted to leave for them – which he apparently accomplished successfully. He served as a director and officer of the Congregation, and as a life-long member. I have so many memories of him sitting with Harriet and Charlie & Vi at synagogue functions – he was truly a fixture.

Throughout his life, Sam was close to his dear siblings and their families, and it was in large part thanks to Sam’s sister Violet that he was introduced to Harriet; they were married in 1954, and within 50 years, Sam was able to take the dramatic step of articulating his feelings verbally by saying things like ​“I love you” to her – feelings that he had expressed throughout their happy years together in countless ways. Sam felt that he was fortunate to have such a good friend, wife and lover in Harriet.

Together, Sam and Harriet built a warm and loving home for their children Sherry and Richard, providing them with every necessity and the best educational, cultural and Judaic opportunities that they could. As was typical for father in that era, Sam saw his primary role as being a ​“provider” for this family and as a moral guide to his children. He was a most dedicated father in those terms. Thanks to his efforts, Harriet was able to concentrate her efforts on running the home and raising the children for many years, although she did develop her own professional life as the children grew. Beyond that, they enjoyed family vacations, attending sports events, going to the beach, listening to classical music, and Jewish and civic holidays together. At some point Richard helped him in his love of gardening and as a tomato master. 

During the period that I knew him, Sam was a proud father of adult children who were involved in his life and increasingly cared for him along with Harriet. He enjoyed a wonderful and close relationship with Harriet’s parents and siblings and their families as well; Harriet’s family was very important to him. Thanks to their support, Sam and Harriet were able to live largely independently in their own home, where Sam lived until his passing. Their life with dignity and independence was in some measure thanks to the support of Sherry and Richard, and some of us realize that a lot goes into such an endeavor.

Their lives were enriched by their closeness to family – to Vi & Charlie, to the Reisers, to Harriet’s family – the people who were so important to Sam, and who shared Sam’s life. I hope that Sam’s children and family can take some comfort in knowing that you provided him with meaning, love, support and hope.

After his quintuple cardiac bypass surgery 20 years ago, Sam increasingly realized that he was living on ​“borrowed time” and resolved to integrate that appreciation of life into his consciousness

Sam lived a long and good life, and enjoyed the support and love of his wife, children, sisters and family. While sad on this day, I am thankful that I had the pleasure and privilege of knowing him, and I hope that you, his loved ones, will always be proud to be Sam’s family and will live according to his finest ideals.