Maya McFadden Photo
Chad Hutchinson with sons: "You see a difference in them when you're around."
Four-year-old Carter watched as the strongest man he knows — his dad, Chad Hutchinson — helped his older brother Damarion conquer the monkey bars.
Carter beamed with confidence as he knew that, with his father by his side, he wouldn’t fail now or in the future.
It’s been a journey for Hutchinson to get to that point where he was lifting up his children, literally and figuratively, at a West Rock playground last Friday. He’s more active in his kids’ lives now than he was a decade ago, when he was struggling to stay out of jail and be present for his now-older sons.
Hutchinson joined fellow New Haven fathers Darryl Johnson, William Winfrey, Jorge Melendez, Keith Wilkerson, Daniel Kashila, and Nigel Roach among dozens of other local dads as they were celebrated by their kids and the community at a pre-Father’s Day BBQ hosted at Brennan Rogers School by its Family Resource Center.
Brennan Rogers students were invited to bring their “favorite guy” in their life to the BBQ party at 200 Wilmot Rd this past Friday.
Dads, grandfathers, brothers, and an occasional mother were celebrated at the event and provided with supportive resources to assist with parenting.
Families played board games together like Sorry and Chess. They also ate hotdogs, hamburgers, and fries provided for free by Luckys Star Bus Cafe.
“The most important thing you can give your child is time,” Brennan Rogers Family Resource Center lead Lensley Gay advised the crowd of fathers and father figures at Friday’s gathering.
She encouraged fathers to remain connected with the center as she works to roll out further resources and partnerships to support them. “You can always have a few more tools in the tool box,” she said.
The event’s lineup of speakers included Gerald Scott of Clifford Beers, Thomas Daniels Sr. and Bruce Trammell Sr. of Urban Community Alliance, and James Pagan of AmaStand LLC.
Bruce Trammell Sr. and James Pagan.
“Before you can be a father you have to be empowered as an individual,” Pagan said. “We help build their confidence and show them that their kids are filled with potential and need them.”
The speakers presented resources to assist fathers, including from the Urban Community Alliance’s Male Involvement Network, Clifford Beers, Father’s Cry Too, and AmaStand LLC.
“Dads are essential,” Trammell said.
Daniels shared that his son who was killed in 2009, attend kindergarten at the school. “Black men are not desensitized to all types of violence. My son meant the world to me. He was my main motivation,” he said. “We need to debunk those stereotypes because we love our kids, and fathers cry too.”
"Making Up For It Now"
Hutchinson helps Carter get across money bars on second try.
Amidst Friday’s celebration, Chad Hutchinson helped his sons Damarion, 6, and Carter, 4 finally get across a full set of monkey bars
Hutcinson’s kids attend Clarence F Rogers Elementary School. Friday was the first-ever fathers’ acknowledgement event he’s been invited to.
Hutchinson described his younger sons as “Covid babies” who have spent the majority of their childhoods so far indoors. “It’s great to be outside,” he said.
In between reminders to his boys to “keep your hands to yourself,” Hutchinson told the Independent he’s been trying for years to find like-minded fathers to befriend.
“You see a difference in them when you’re around,” he said.
Hutchinson also has a 13-year-old son who was not at Friday’s celebration. He said he can see differences in his three sons and feels it’s because he was less active in his older son’s life as he grew up.
Due to being in and out of jail, he said he missed out on a lot of his 13-year-old year old son’s development. “I used to go to jail every day or weekend,” he recalled.
“I’m making up for it now but I know now how much it’s affected him. The last time I saw him was four years old,” he said of his older son.
Hutchinson has now stopped spending his days in the streets and said he hasn’t been arrested in recent years. That’s because he’s now motivated by his three sons to stay out of trouble and to not give up. “I’m not going to resort to negativity every day. Being there for them matters to me too much,” he said.
"Still Learning To Be A Dad"
Darryl Johnson with daughters.
Darryl Johnson, 38, was joined by his three daughters — ages 13, 8, and 2 — at the Friday gathering.
Hi older daughter, who attends Brennan Rogers, told him about the pre-Father’s Day celebration
Johnson, who lives in the Hill, said he immediately agreed to attending the Friday event because “my generation missed out on this kind of stuff.”
“I’m still learning to be a dad,” Johnson said while watching his daughters play on the school’s playground.
Johnson’s oldest two daughters are his step daughters, and the youngest is his first biological child.
“I want them to know I’m here for them. To have fun. To learn. Everything,” he said.
Johnson added that the Friday event helped him to connect with other fathers like himself. He said he plans to refer to them to learn more about parenting, understand each others’ frustrations, and “build camaraderie.”
Family resource center coordinator Lensley Gay and Chef Larry Lucky.
While serving fresh foods off the grill, Larry Lucky, owner of Lucky’s Star Bus Cafe, announced that he’s working to buy a second bus to have one parked at 940 Dixwell Ave. so that the other can travel around the state to catering events.
Lucky grew up in the Hill, and said he enjoys giving back to New Haveners like himself and aims to support positive events like Friday’s.
The Village Shows Up
While father-of-two William Winfrey played with his sons, ages six and five, on the playground, he reminded them to not run up the slide from the wrong end.
Winfrey’s mother, who works at Brennan Rogers as a classroom teacher, told him about the event.
“I wanted to show up for them and be at as many school events as possible as their father,” he said.
Father William Winfrey with sons.
Winfrey attended Brennan Rogers as a child and was raised in the West Rock neighborhood.
Similar to Winfrey’s upraising, he said it’s taken a village to raise his sons. He too grew up with a father figure who helped him to learn right from wrong. Now, as a father, he has taken on that responsibility.
Father Jorge Melendez and daughter Juliet.
Father Keith Wilkerson brought his step-son Kaden Nelson, 6, to Friday’s event to spend the entire day with Kaden, who attends Brennan Rogers.
“Nowadays all they do is stay in front of the TV or YouTube,” he said. “I rather get them outside through to pick up real world stuff.”
Wilkerson is originally from Baltimore and moved to New Haven a year ago. He has another son living in Baltimore, which he travels back and forth to.
Hand outs for families.
“By being there for them I want them to know they can talk to me and be comfortable,” he said.
Wilkerson said his father didn’t grow up with a father and therefore was committed to being in his life and now he’s committed to following in those foot steps.
“I love that the school’s doing this. It’s helpful to know other fathers,” he said.
Father and daughter Daniel and Janelle Kashila.
Five-year-old Janelle Kashila was joined by her father Daniel Kashila. The two enjoyed Capri-Sun’s and burgers together.
“Getting together is good for the community,” Daniel said. “We get to know each other and are reminded we’re living in the same world.”
Daniel has a son who also attended Brennan Rogers as an eighth grader but was transferred to Beecher in recent months due to the school’s lack of teachers on staff.
After eating, the duo planned to next head to the playground.
Family Resource Center coordinator Ms. Gay.
“Having parents attend programs and events at their children’s school helps to build the child’s self-esteem and confidence,” Gay said. “The family resource center works on the whole family, from the baby to the grandparents.”
Gay provided families with handouts of affirmations to teach their kids to boost their confidence and with educational options for positive screen time.
Father Nigel Roach with family.
Father Nigel Roach brought his two kids Kyra and Aiden and their cousin Maya to Fridays event to “spend a beautiful day together.” He also has an eighth grade daughter named Nijah who was not at Friday’s event.
Roach aims to see his kids as often as possible by dropping them off to school and going to community events when possible. He comes to New Haven from West Haven to see them.
“I work but I also make time to do things like this,” he said.
His oldest daughter Nijah was an eighth grader at Brennan Rogers but was transferred to Edgewood earlier this year.
“Spending time with them, teaching them respect, and telling them you’re proud is most important,” he said.
Fathers on playground duty.
This is a wonderful idea! So many parents grew up without a father figure regularly present in their lives, which makes it harder to know how to be a father when you don’t have a good role model to learn from. Others have grown up with a father figure, or a parent who was both mother and father to them.
Inviting children to bring their favorite father figure to the BBQ fest is a great way to support those parents and parent figures who are doing their best to be that figure in a child’s life.
You don’t have to have money to be a great dad, you just have to make time and be there and love and care for your children. Be like the dad you would have wanted for yourself when you were little, or be like the dad of your friends who you admire the most. But most of all, just be there.
We always need our parents, even we are grown up, so don’t let your teens push you away, they may act like they don’t want your parenting, but that’s when they need you the most, and they secretly appreciate it.