The cover for Evelyn Gray’s latest EP, Give Yrself What U Need, shows Gray in a location and disposition that seems almost jarring given our current situation on lockdown during the Covid-19 pandemic. She’s outside, in a radiant desert, close to the photographer. The expression on her face conveys a sense of deep satisfaction.
That might seem at odds not only with our collective confinement, but with Gray’s previous output.
Since appearing on the New Haven scene a couple years ago with a string of recordings and live shows, Gray made a name for herself as a master of writing and performing songs that exploded with emotions.
Gray’s 2019 release, Let the Flower Grow, was full of songs that spoke of a painful journey of self-discovery, moments of despair, and clawing toward strength. The songs themselves felt like exorcisms or catharsis, written by someone whose dark times may be past, but still all too fresh in the mind. They drew power from their vulnerability.
“The Mistake” picks up where Let the Flower Grow leaves off, reveling in the space Gray can create with just her voice and a guitar. Gray’s lyrics remain earnest and powerful, though here they’re dashed with a hint of humor, too. “You went away / so I watched your cat. / Spent each day / waiting for you to come back.” The sparseness in the music supports the song’s closing sentiments: “You said you needed space / and space I gave. / Even when you said that you made a mistake,” Gray sings. But Gray also develops her sound, as she puts more overtly electronic sounds — and some stacked vocals — in the mix.
“Always Wrong” is another welcome addition to Gray’s growing catalog. She gives her voice full throat, but the guitars are both slinkier and atmospheric, giving the song more warmth and depth. Ethereal electronic sounds halfway through the song, and some rich self-harmonies, let Gray create some subtle peaks and valleys to the music.
“So how did we end up like this again? / I thought you were my best friend, my partner in crime / or was that just from my side?” Gray sings. “‘Cause I was never right, was I? / No I was always wrong in your eyes.” On previous recordings, Gray might have unleashed her singing voice to convey the emotion coiled in those lines. Instead, she lets her guitar do the talking, as suddenly, near the end of the song, there’s a straight-up crunchy solo that cuts through the pastoralia.
But it’s the title track “Give Yrself What U Need” that brings home the promise of that cover photo, and shows Gray exploring new musical terrain. Percussive elements — from a click that could come from a guitar or something else, to a drum kit — contribute to Gray’s sonic expansion, as does Gray’s swooping, swooning guitar and the inclusion of other people’s voices (Shyanne Horner, Nick Restivo, and Emily Rose Alderman) on the chorus.
It all adds up to a song overflowing with hope. It’s an anthem for those looking to unshackle themselves from the ways of the past and find new ways to move into the future. “I measured self-worth in productivity / how many things can I be doing? / is it enough when I am drowning? / I keep my head down, no use swimming,” the song begins, but the music is already suggesting that Gray is stepping off that treadmill, rising out of the water.
Then the song opens up, quite beautifully, into a sound that could fill a stadium. “But I can be still now / Figure out how to breathe, / to be me / Take it easy / Practice being.” Horner’s, Restivo’s and Alderman’s voices help Gray pass her liberation along to us. “And you can be still now. / Remember how to breathe, to be. / Take it easy. / Give yourself what you need.”
Whether the song was written in response to the pandemic or not, it speaks all too directly to the moment we’re in right now, and hits all the harder for that reason. But it’s also a song made to be sung along with. It’s easy to imagine listeners learning that song and finding strength in it to get through the pandemic. Then, when we can all finally go out again, we might go catch Evelyn Gray live, and sing those last choruses with her, at the tops of our lungs.
