Students Connect Over Story Exchange

High School in the Community (HSC) freshman Kiley was convinced she would never get along with a senior student she found herself sitting across the table from. 

After each high-schooler opened up to ​“exchange” personal, vulnerable stories with the other, the two students wound up trading phone numbers — and found they had more in common than they first thought.

That story and phone number and potential friendship exchange took place last Thursday at the 175 Water St. magnet school. The students spent the half-day before spring break week finding a way re-engage and build closer connections with their peers.

HSC did this through a school-wide story exchange session hosted by the global nonprofit known as Narrative 4. Thursday marked the school’s first such story exchange, but not its last, according to HSC Building Leader Cari Strand. 

While the school did not allow the Independent to sit in on the actual story exchanges themselves, which were confidential to preserve student privacy, this reporter did catch up with students after the session and before they were dismissed for spring break to talk about how the story exchanges went, what they learned, and what relationships they began to build.

The day began with a performance by special guest poet Frederick-Douglass Knowles II in the school’s cafeteria, followed by a brief question-and-answer conversation with the poet.

Following the performance students went to pre-arranged small groups with N4 facilitators to learn about the goals of the activity, then got in pairs to share personal stories with a peer they didn’t know well. The student pairs were tasked with sharing a story with their partners having to do with the theme of ​“metamorphosis.”

Students shared stories about topics like traveling, loss, and family dynamics. 

"We Formed A New Connection"

After the exchange exercise, the students gathered with their advisory groups to debrief about the activity. 

Seniors Dylan, Gabriel Gonzalez, Sierra Greda, Grace, Alanna Lopez, and sophomore Isiah Soso sat together discussing for 15 minutes before heading to lunch. 

Some of the students described their group conversations as surface level while others said they talked more in-depth with their partners about personal experiences 

“We talked about our differences but it made us realize we weren’t that different,” Lopez said. ​“We formed a new connection.” 

For the activity seniors were partnered with freshmen, and juniors and sophomores were put together.

During the exercise the students talked confidentially with a partner about a personal experience of theirs. While sharing, their partners took notes on the story and then followed by telling their own stories. The groups then shared their partners’ stories in a first-person narrative. 

Alanna said many of the members in her group cried together as they heard the stories of their peers. 

She described the experience as ​“eye-opening.”

“There’s a lot we didn’t know about each other and probably would have never shared if we didn’t do this,” Sierra said

During the final period of the day students had lunch. During lunch students described the day of conversations as ​“uncomfortable” and ​“emotional” while expressing appreciation for being able to ​“interact beyond grades” and ​“go past the surface” with peers. 

At a lunch table full of first-year students, freshman Japhat said, ​“At first I was scared and felt unsure but then we connected.” 

The group of freshmen were all paired with seniors they had never interacted with. 

When asked what surprised them during the exercise, Kiley recalled, ​“I thought we weren’t going to get along at first because we were both just on our phones, but then we ended up talking a lot and exchanged numbers.”

“It helped to know that we all have problems,” said Diana.

When asked about how they felt after the session, freshman Ashley said, ​“I thought it was going to be weird but it was actually really comforting.” 

Seeking A "Safe & Comfortable School"

Last year HSC put together a small narrative exchange pilot after a group of senior girls asked for mentorship opportunities with freshman students. HSC Building Leader Cari Strand is a N4 master practitioner, allowing for her to train other to facilitate such exchanges.

Strand said she believes the session is an important step towards rebuilding community in the school building, particularly at a time when school leadership is working to decrease its chronic absenteeism and discipline rates. 

“We want the kids to know that this school is for them and not just a school that does to them,” Strand said. 

She added that the school-wide activity aimed to specifically help the students build empathy and community to feel ​“safe and comfortable at school.” 

Student leaders helped school leadership to organize the day-long activity by hosting information sessions about N4 the week before to spark student interest and encourage students to attend. That’s because the final school day before spring break usually sees high absence rates. Student leaders also arranged the activity groupings and scheduling. 

N4 Northeast Regional Manager Jen McCool gathered Thursday’s 24 trained facilitators for the school’s largest story exchange yet. 

“This show them the power in storytelling, their voices, and walking in someone else’s shoes,” she said. 

Thursday split the school into 15 groups of 10 – 20 students each with several facilitators. 

Before students departed from the session facilitators made sure to remind them that their vulnerability and maturity were acts of bravery, McCool said. 

HSC English teacher Amy Brazauski recalled her students telling her about enjoying the day-long exercise because it allowed for them to reflect on their growth and similarities with their peers.

Instead of hearing from her students’ experiences through English assignments like personal essays, Brazauski learned from her students in a different fashion Thursday. 

Students shared personal stories about their changes in identity, family dynamics, and losses of loved ones which helped their peers to practice empathy, she said.

”They shared laughs and were mature while engaging with others’ emotions,” she added. 

Brazauski said the exercise was one of many steps by the school community to recover from the recent isolation that came with remote learning.

HSC class of 2017 graduate Samyah (pictured above) returned to her alma mater Thursday to facilitate the workshop with dozens of other N4 team members. 

Samyah was introduced to N4 while a student at HSC and described brining a similar experience as hers to the current student body as ​“heartwarming.”

She said the life-changing experience will help the students to understand the importance of vulnerability, emotional maturity, and building relationships. 

Four years ago Samyah returned to HSC to host a narrative exchange activity with teachers and again last year for a small group of seniors who expressed interest in mentoring underclassmen. 

“You can explore the world through these exchanges and see that we are more similar than different,” she said. 

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